myers-briggs

my my... it has been quite a while.

erin posted the other day about her myers-briggs personality type, and for some reason i was in the mood to do the same.

generally i'm skeptical of personality evaluations. i feel like most of the time they tell you exactly what you tell them. then again, i suppose it's not uncommon for us to see small truths about ourselves but not how they all fit together?

anyways, i went to the link she posted and checked it out.

after a little bit of reflection and listening to what others think...
i have decided that i am an INTP- the "thinker".

i definitely agree that i am introverted.

after rob's explanation i can see my intuitive side. things usually either make sense to me or they don't. when they don't, no amount of teaching changes that... until it just... clicks.

and now that i understand the 4th letter, i'm definitely a perceiver. while i do enjoy the peace when things go according to a plan or system, i'm usually quite content to go with the flow- often getting things done last minute.

i had the hardest time with the thinker/feeler bit (which is super ironic, because my personality type is "thinker"). in the end i have decided that i am primarily a thinker. even when i take feelings into account i don't completely disregard logic... i just include them in my reasoning. feelings do carry some weight i think. but... i suppose the "i think" right there reveals the truth :) however, i also think that i have a bigger feeling side than the average thinker.

erin and i were talking... i definitely think some of the things i disagree with are because Jesus has a sway on those points of my personality, which makes them different from the norm.

so anyways, here's what the website had to say about my personality type. i put the parts i disagreed with in blue and the parts i particularly agreed with in orange.


the thinker (INTP)

As an INTP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INTPs live in the world of theoretical possibilities. They see everything in terms of how it could be improved, or what it could be turned into. They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations. They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the "absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions. They typically are so strongly driven to turn problems into logical explanations, that they live much of their lives within their own heads, and may not place as much importance or value on the external world. Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.

INTPs value knowledge above all else. Their minds are constantly working to generate new theories, or to prove or disprove existing theories. They approach problems and theories with enthusiasm and skepticism, ignoring existing rules and opinions and defining their own approach to the resolution. They seek patterns and logical explanations for anything that interests them. They're usually extremely bright, and able to be objectively critical in their analysis. They love new ideas, and become very excited over abstractions and theories. They love to discuss these concepts with others. They may seem "dreamy" and distant to others, because they spend a lot of time inside their minds musing over theories. They hate to work on routine things - they would much prefer to build complex theoretical solutions, and leave the implementation of the system to others. They are intensely interested in theory, and will put forth tremendous amounts of time and energy into finding a solution to a problem with has piqued their interest.

INTPs do not like to lead or control people. They're very tolerant and flexible in most situations, unless one of their firmly held beliefs has been violated or challenged, in which case they may take a very rigid stance. The INTP is likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people. On the other hand, the INTP is very self-confident and gregarious around people they know well, or when discussing theories which they fully understand.

The INTP has no understanding or value for decisions made on the basis of personal subjectivity or feelings. They strive constantly to achieve logical conclusions to problems, and don't understand the importance or relevance of applying subjective emotional considerations to decisions. For this reason, INTPs are usually not in-tune with how people are feeling, and are not naturally well-equiped to meet the emotional needs of others.

The INTP may have a problem with self-aggrandizement and social rebellion, which will interfere with their creative potential. Since their Feeling side is their least developed trait, the INTP may have difficulty giving the warmth and support that is sometimes necessary in intimate relationships. If the INTP doesn't realize the value of attending to other people's feelings, he or she may become overly critical and sarcastic with others. If the INTP is not able to find a place for themself which supports the use of their strongest abilities, they may become generally negative and cynical. If the INTP has not developed their Sensing side sufficiently, they may become unaware of their environment, and exhibit weakness in performing maintenance-type tasks, such as bill-paying and dressing appropriately.

For the INTP, it is extremely important that ideas and facts are expressed correctly and succinctly. They are likely to express themselves in what they believe to be absolute truths. Sometimes, their well thought-out understanding of an idea is not easily understandable by others, but the INTP is not naturally likely to tailor the truth so as to explain it in an understandable way to others. The INTP may be prone to abandoning a project once they have figured it out, moving on to the next thing. It's important that the INTP place importance on expressing their developed theories in understandable ways. In the end, an amazing discovery means nothing if you are the only person who understands it.

The INTP is usually very independent, unconventional, and original. They are not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security. They usually have complex characters, and may tend to be restless and temperamental. They are strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows them to analyze ideas in new ways. Consequently, a lot of scientific breakthroughs in the world have been made by the INTP.

The INTP is at his best when he can work on his theories independently. When given an environment which supports his creative genius and possible eccentricity, the INTP can accomplish truly remarkable things. These are the pioneers of new thoughts in our society.

strengths:
-They feel love and affection for those close to them which is almost childlike in its purity
-Generally laid-back and easy-going, willing to defer to their mates
-Approach things which interest them very enthusiastically
-Richly imaginative and creative
-Do not feel personally threatened by conflict or criticism
-Usually are not demanding, with simple daily needs


so that's that.
well... then i started looking through the INFP personality... "the idealist", and found some things in there which i felt really applied to me. (not a lot... but some) so i wanted to mention those as well...


-INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always (i would say "often" for me) approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong.

-Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people.

-INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause.

first car

so i'm going to get my very own car. it's my grandparents' old car. a 1996 ford taurus. they got a new one and decided to let me have it.

i think it's a great first car. it belonged to at least one other person before my grandparents... it doesn't look like it's falling apart, but it's definitely been in an accident or two. its dirty. it's scratched. it's got 120 thousand miles or so. and... it's purple. plenty of character :)

anyways, the thing is i need a name for the car a purple, first car needs a name.

i feel like there's basically 3 paths. you've got cool names, goofy names, and names that make fun of the car. all 3 are fair game. and fyi, it's a boy. vote on one of the ideas below or offer another name idea.

donatello
purple people eater
barney
dino
eggplant
grape
grape juice
raisin

world cup

the world cup is finally here!
after 4 years of waiting we just have 24 hours to go.

i'm pretty pumped.
i don't know why exactly, but it's just... really neat.

i love how you can put a soccer ball between two people who can't speak one word of the other person's language and they know exactly what to do. i love how it can quell political unrest in honduras. it's like the olympics... except for sport that everyone actually really cares about more than once every couple years. :)

i think the world cup is a fuzzy picture of heaven... all these excited people coming together from so many different places for the same thing.
the main difference being that God unites rather than a game. (God will do an even better job i think)

anyways...
last time around was probably the best summer ever. it seems like every day was filled with soccer games and lemonade or altaer stuff. we made our own soccer goal out of spare pvc we found and mowed half of the elementary school's field next door so that we'd have a place close to home to play at. :) such sweet memories...

i guess we're all a bit busy growing up and working and whatnot nowadays... but i think watching the games will be no less exciting than it was back then.

a bunch of us made brackets for the tournament. mine is below.






















after much thinking i decided to go crazy and make the united states go all the way to 3rd. it will happen one day so i figured why not this time. :)
i will most likely get destroyed for this... but it's a risk i'm willing to take. if it doesn't work so well... meh. and if it does, i'm probably the only one who guessed we'd go so far. :)

for all of you american soccer naysayers... we do have a good team. certainly we don't compare to teams like brazil or germany every day... unlike most countries, most of our best athletes get pulled in a number of other directions. historically, soccer hasn't been part of our culture (it's growing i think though). it's not that we just suck at it... our attention and effort is just more divided. which is a good thing... football will never leave nor should it. (i think i'd be willing to trade baseball or basketball for soccer though. :) sorry if that hurts your feelings)

but...
we are better than most countries. for your information, we beat spain (ranked #2) recently and had a good lead on brazil (ranked #1) before choking last year. it is possible for us to do well in the world cup. so don't turn your back on the team and think "silly americans, they can't play soccer". we're a decent team and we're getting better. if i hear that you're supporting another country like pastor tim's kids, i will personally come hunt you down. :) and you better watch every american game you possibly can (and cheer) until they win or lose!

lens of truth

last night we read the 2nd half of luke and one thing stuck out to me over and over again...

i think Jesus must have been really frustrated by how blind people could be. we run around with such a simple mind that's set on the world and we miss out on so much truth (both the good and the bad).

last week i was talking to a few people about screwtape letters and erin mentioned how creepy it is... because it's pretty accurate to the truth- a truth that we are ignorant of most of the time.

and on the other hand there's... the story of the woman at the well, for example. she's thirsty for the living water that Jesus talks about, but doesn't realize that it's right on front of her!

so... partly in honor of "zelda" posts 2 summers ago...
and mainly because it's a perfect metaphor...
i was very much reminded of the lens of truth.
just think about it! :)

we need to equip them more often. i do at least.

i'm too lazy/busy at the moment to explain this to non-zelda fans. so if you're confused and don't want to be then just comment here or ask on facebook.

finally, below are a few (of many) random quotes from the chapters we read that made me think about all this:

"you hypocrites! doesn't each of you on the sabbath untie his ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water? then should not this woman, a daughter of abraham, whom satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the sabbath day from what bound her?" then he asked them, "if one of you has a son or an ox that falls into a well on the sabbath day, will you not immediately pull him out?" and they had nothing to say.

"if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'i repent,' forgive him."
the apostles said to the Lord, "increase our faith!"
he replied, "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.

"The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, 'here it is,' or 'there it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you."

Jesus called the children to him and said, "let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

he saw through their duplicity and said to them, "show me a denarius. Whose portrait and inscription are on it?"
"caesar's," they replied.
he said to them, "then give to caesar what is caesar's, and to God what is God's.

sports

my brother's post about sports was interesting. so here's my version.

i have a strange relationship with sports.

growing up (particularly during the elementary school days) i was not particularly athletic and it was safer to not try than to look stupid. (honestly, this concept has played a big role in my life and i could easily write a post entirely on that... perhaps i will sometime) while the talented, fast, strong kids played sports, i decided it was safer to play video games, be funny, or make good grades. (i suppose it's only natural to move towards the things you're better at)

don't get me wrong, i played my share of kickball at recess. i played tee-ball and basketball. went golfing with granddad. i even played rec soccer until 8th grade. but i was careful not to take sports too seriously. i rarely tried hard. and i never attached my identity to how well i could throw, kick, or catch a ball.

also, for the first 10 years or so of my life, we never really had a "family team". some kids grow up with parents who LOVE some particular sport or team. if my dad had this he never really passed it on to me. around 3rd grade, our grandfather's love for tennessee (mainly football) caught on. but before then i hadn't had a team to really care about. and i suppose at that point in my life it was too late to start really caring.

i remember the first time i found jacob up early on a saturday watching sportscenter. eventually he started to pick up names and statistics. and could have sports conversations with adults. i thought it was rather strange. i tried to get into it once... but it didn't last long before i was bored. :)

so, just like playing sports, watching sports just "sort of happened sometimes". if a special game was on, i would join in. if someone else controlled the remote, i'd watch. but even after the most important games... i would move on after a day or two.

all of this to say... i didn't particularly care about sports. they were generally fun... but not something i seriously cared about.

and that's still my basic attitude to this day.


my opinion on specific sports:

-soccer is the most fun to play. i think it involves a good balance of skill and endurance, of strategy and action. i like how special a goal is. and i like the teamwork.

-football is the most fun to watch. i think it's a brilliant sport. besides being physically hardcore and exciting... i am surprised over and over again by how incredibly intelligent the game is. the strategy it involves is mind boggling. it's more crazy than chess. and a heck of a lot quicker to make you get on your feet.

-basketball is okay. it's pretty fun to play. and my dad was right... going to a basketball game is cool because the environment is pretty intimate. unlike football, i feel like my yelling makes a difference in a basketball stadium.

-baseball bores me to death most of the time. watching or playing. sorry if that offends anyone. :)

-hockey would be much more awesome if it were played outside during snow storms. i actually imagine it's really fun to play... if you have time to learn to skate. the puck is too small and moves too fast to make watching hockey exciting... it's too hard to see what's really happening.

-my granddad taught me to golf. i haven't played in way too long. it's mostly pretty boring to watch, but playing is great once you're decent. it's like someone found a way to combine a nice outdoors walk and a strategy game into one. i like how personal it is- you essentially play one-on-one, you versus the golf course, not against other people.

that's most of the basic sports, but...
-paintball is fun. who doesn't love pretending to be a soldier?
-ultimate is good too... a little bit too much running for me though. :) the more i learn about strategy the more impressed i am with it.
-we played a lot of sand volleyball over spring break and had a blast

as far as specific teams go:

-anything georgia tech. i love having my own team to support. i love having a reason to root for a team. one thing that bothers me about professional sports is how commercialized it feels. why do you cheer for a pro team? the only halfway good reasons are: you know someone else who does or you live in the area. to me, neither of these can compare with the way you cheer for your own college. in good times and bad, whether you want to be or not, you're connected. it's like... you're not just a fan- you're part of a family. jacob was talking about his warming up to georgia... i think it's only natural.

-i'll still cheer for tennessee if the game is on, though that's died down since coming to tech.

-i'll cheer for the colts if they're on. just because of peyton manning.

-i'll cheer for an atlanta team over the other i suppose

-oh! during the world cup i'll cheer for the united states, naturally. and germany is my backup :)


but again... for the most part...
i just don't care that much. :)

parallel

broken open
humbled

in a hole
not at the bottom, but falling

i don't grab for anything
because there's nothing to grab

i'm trying
i'm trying
but trying is never good enough
and i don't know how to stop trying

inherent flaw
i don't know where from
it always has been
gnawing flaw

flaw leading to humility
only shameful humility

do i not know how to love?
or am i just a poor lover?
or do i just make mistakes

wall between us

if you forgive
i cannot accept
because trying isn't good enough

if you don't
i wither and toss and turn

stormy waves inside me
and i'm seasick

love

i know i need you
i need to love you, lord
i love to see you, but it's been so long
i long to feel you
i feel this need for you
and i need to hear you
is that so wrong?

now you've pulled me near you
when we're close i fear you
still i'm afraid to tell you
all that i've done
are you done forgiving?
or can you look pass my pretending?
lord, i'm so tired of defending
what i've become
what have i become?

i hear you say:
my love is over, it's underneath, it's inside, it's in between
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you question 'is this for real?'
the times you're broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, it's underneath, it's inside, it's in between,
these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and are tempted to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
i'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
i'm there through your heartache
i'm there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone
i don't care where you've fallen, where you have been
i'll never forsake you
my love never ends,
it never ends

(times by tenth avenue north)

colossians

a word cloud of paul's letter to the church at colossae
(the bigger the word the more frequently it appears)