Thursday, July 31, 2008

caving

last week i got to jump in as a leader on altaer's wilderness retreat. it was quite an opportunity i think. :)
certainly a lot of fun. and a perfect way to spend time with a few people i wanted to spend time with.
i actually didn't have to do very many official leader-like things. but over and over again i was reminded how most leading is done through the tiniest of actions and words.

anyways
we got to do some neat things. namely rappelling, rock climbing, hiking, swimming (in a random lake deep in the woods), caving, and rafting.


caving is by far one of the coolest things i've ever done.
i tried to describe it in my journal, but it was too hard.

it was the most foreign place i've ever been.
and you feel like an explorer. (even though we had a group of 20 and a guide)
because darkness is everywhere and with every step you were going further into this dark, hidden, mysterious place.
it was mysterious.

Bible verses about light (i.e. "you are the light of the world") really start to mean something...

maybe that paints a bit of a picture.
caving was very fun and very exciting. :)


however
my favorite part
was coming out of the cave. :)


























seems silly maybe. but you just can't understand unless you've done it. and understood it the way i did. trust me... this picture is just a visual aid. it doesn't begin to do the experience justice.

after 3 hours in a cave, you're quite used to the world of the cave.
your eyes are used to darkness- to little light.
and the grays and browns of rock begin to feel like the only colors you've ever seen.
the noise of other people and occasional rushing water start to seem like the only sounds you've ever heard.
the damp, dirt smell is the only thing you've ever smelled.
the cold air starts to feel normal.
big rocks and the cave wall are the only thing you touch.
uneven rocky ground or dirt is the only thing you walk over.

this is a bit exaggerated perhaps.
but you get the idea.
for the time we were in there, my mind was fixed on where i was. the cave was the only world i could see. it was the reality we found ourselves in. anything else was just a memory or a thought.

"They were a mass of bruises, and the wet sticky stuff on her face appeared to be blood. And such a mass of loose earth, shingle, and larger stones was piled up round her (and partly over her) that she couldn't get up. The darkness was so complete that it made no difference at all whether you had your eyes open or shut. There was no noise. And that was the very worst moment Jill had ever known in her life."

"Presently they were given food - flat, flabby cakes of some sort which had hardly any taste. And after that, they gradually fell asleep. But when they woke, everything was just the same; the gnomes still rowing, the ship still gliding on, still dead blackness ahead. How often they woke and slept and ate and slept again, none of them could ever remember. And the worst thing about it was that you began to feel as if you had always lived on that ship, in that darkness, and to wonder whether sun and blue skies and wind and birds had not been only a dream."

(both of those from Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis)

now,
as if that isn't hard enough to picture.
imagine coming out of it.

actually, on our way out, we stopped at the last point where no sunlight reaches and our guide told us to just stare down at our feet for the rest of the way out. and as we made it to the mouth of the cave he had us look up.

you just... can't imagine.

the world outside of the cave was overwhelming.
it was beautiful.

just one tree
was enough to blow your mind.

colors were more colorful.
green was more green than it had ever been.
the sky was bluer...

and bigger.
the sky was HUGE.
just the thought that you could see so far blew my mind.

and the realization that you're not... buried...
it reminds me of what one of the gnomes (who live underground) in Silver Chair... :)
"That was the worst thing the Witch did to us. We were going to be led out into the open - on to the outside of the world. They say there's no roof at all there; only a horrible great emptiness called the sky. And the diggings have gone so far that a few strokes of the pick would bring you out to it. I wouldn't dare go near them... You can't really like it - crawling about like flies on the top of the world!"
it was terrifying! but magnificent as well. (because i'm human and not a gnome i suppose)

and the smells!
i could smell plants.
the flowers especially. i could smell them before i even saw them. and when i did it was like the most marvelous, pleasant thing i'd ever smelled.

and we could see the sun up in the sky.
beautiful.
and perfectly made.
not so bright that it hurt your eyes...
but big enough, and bright enough, and powerful enough that EVERYTHING outside was lit up and visible.
the thought that this one light illuminated everything around me (and for thousands of miles around!) was just bizarre.

and that was the greatest mystery.
being able to SEE.
to just... look wherever you wanted and see something there.

for a while i just sat there on a rock and took it all in.


a stream sort of ran into the mouth of the cave, and eventually our guide started walking up it. and we followed him to another beautiful scene...

after a minute we came to an opening...
there was a beautiful waterfall pouring down from the top of a little cliff
and the rest of our group was there waiting for us.

i wish someone had taken a picture of us when we came out. :)
because we must have looked like a mess.
most of us were covered in mud from playing around in the cave.
we were like an awkward, raggedy, tired, slightly disoriented group of gnomes. :)
strangers in the outside word.
we must have looked unfit to be where we were- surrounded by trees and sky and light.

and if there wasn't enough beauty in creation itself...
how much more that the first thing we did upon coming into it, was to head straight for this magnificent waterfall and pool to wash ourselves clean!
and on top of this, to join our friends! our brothers and sisters.

people were running around, laughing, smiling, jumping in the water.
and washing themselves off. cleaning the mud off of themselves and out of clothes. changing into new clothes.


can you see it?

we wandered around for a while in a black cave. in darkness. while inside we even talked about how screwed we'd be if our batteries all died suddenly.

but thank God, we did have lights (if only small ones). and we had a guide leading us through.

it was exciting in the cave. it was a great experience. hard for some and easy for others.

but i think all would agree, it's good that in the end we were lead out. back home. the cave was cool, but the outside is just... crazy.
if you can stop taking it for granted.

"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." (Colossians 1:13-14)


the sweet thing is that some of us have "left the cave."

of course, our part-time job for now is to go back in...
"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?" (Matthew 18:12)





























"If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our bodies. If they will perish let them perish with our arms about their knees. Let no one GO there unwarned and unprayed for."
Charles Spurgeon


(note: the pictures aren't mine, i just found them online)

3 comments:

Kelsey said...

Beautiful writing.
Although no amount of writing can describe the scene when we were actually there. Such a beautiful depiction of God's promise to us. There may be those times in which we can't even see our hands in front of our faces...those times where we have to trust that it is God's voice leading us, but that outside world...of light and sound and color...is so worth the journey.

Joshua Harkey said...

Oh yeah! I completely forgot to mention that...

the sound of birds
and wind

and the feeling of wind

:)

Kate Fields said...

what a great metaphore.