sigh

today i was truly resting in god.
it was wondrous.
i was just walking back from class smiling.
people were probably wondering what i thought was so funny...

and then he showed me a glimpse of my future, i think.
the brief version of the story...

i've been thinking about spending a few months with this awesome ministry called eMi.
i found it one day in high school, when we were in the library doing research for something or other. and i've thought about it randomly from time to time since. a few weeks ago i sent an email asking for more information, and i've been waiting for them to get back to me...

then this morning i went to a lecture by the guy who founded engineers without borders, another awesome organization. it reminded me/got me pretty excited about how i can use my education in really cool ways.

then i got back to my room,
and while i was gone eMi responded to me.

i definitely plan on working with them.
the only question is when...


and i let that question bother me.
started worrying about it.

then i did some homework.
and got frustrated and stressed by tricky homework problems.

and forgot that god gives me peace.
forgot how he's taking care of me...
right
in front
of my eyes!
yet i still struggled to trust him instead of myself.


this isn't utter sadness. :)
i have hope.
it's not that big a deal.

i just couldn't help but let out a sigh at how ridiculous i can be.


he made the world a grassy road before our bare, wandering feet,
and crushed the stones into the softest sand between our toes.

but we're wondering where to sleep.

come quick, you light that knows no evening
come, alone to the alone!

rejoice, the cleansing of my lips
Rejoice, salvation of my soul!

but I still have a thousand half-loves well worth leaving for to take your madness home.