conundrum

this tags right along with what i was saying yesterday i suppose.

this one question has been eating at me for the last year i think...

see, so often i feel incapable of doing anything without passion.
because i have no reason to do it!
maybe that's a big exaggerated...
but how do you get yourself to do something without motivation?
that's what it boils down to.

on the other hand,
sometimes i think that passion comes after the fact.
how can you be passionate about something if you haven't tried it?

it's quite a problem
a riddle.
like a key locked in a safe.
cache 22.

faith and deeds
is what this comes down to i guess.

for it is by faith that i am saved, through grace.
and yet faith without works is dead.

peter walked on water by faith.

but if faith is by grace
we must accept grace before faith comes.
in a sense, grace is accepted before faith was there to spur on the accepting.

it's a conundrum.

really i think they come together.
in the same instance.
separate things.
but they come and exist and happen simultaneously.

but that's just theological jumble or something.
it doesn't mean much to me.

all i know
is that i wish i loved Jesus more.
but half the time i just don't really care enough to do something about it.

so do i just sit here and wait for faith? for my heart to be in it?
surely not...

so do i fight for it? try to follow, seek, obey before the faith, the passion comes?
how?!

that's the predicament i find myself in way too often...


Say the words and make them count,
Say them loud without a doubt.
Give us truth and nothing more,
Leave us wanting more and more.