father love

read these lyrics, it's the end of the song.
as you do picture a child and a father.
(real ones mind you. i don't mean that in some religious metaphoric whatever kind of way)

"The Stand"-by Hillsong United

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

Show me Your heart
Show me Your way
Show me Your glory

so this week was excellent. especially tuesday. I started volunteering at Sheltering Arms. a day care/preschool for less wealthy people's children basically. i'll let you look that up on your own if you're confused. basically i spent 3 hours playing with 4/5 year olds.

it was wonderful :)
It made my entire day perfect.
It definitely helped me be focused on God.
And definitely made me more in love with him.

And of course that night at Navs before getting to his message, Donnie pointed out some lyrics in the song we finished with...
the one I just showed you
he emphasized:
"So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all"

He pointed out the way that paints a picture of a little child reaching up then being held close by their parent. How their heart is abandoned to their dad/mom.
He said he loves being a father because it's the best way ever to understand God's love for us. He tried to describe what it's like to have your daughter or son in your arms. Their heart abandoned, surrendered.

And I thought... wow. That sounds just like this morning. Sounds like the same feeling when you simply make a kid smile or laugh. Or when they hold your hand.
So... how much more if it's your own child!
And if they're completely abandoned to you, in your arms.

And apparently that's just a reflection of God's love.
What's the real thing like!?
...

(I'm glad our emotions are so limited. Otherwise we would surely explode.)

the zombie song

We’re like zombies
Like the walking dead
With X’s (excess) in our eyes
And music in our heads
We’ve forgotten
Our first love
And made it pictures
Of crosses and doves

Remember when we were real
Back when we could feel?
Once we were in this
Now we’re of this
Jesus, turn these tables over

We all follow
But we’re standing still
Reciting dead words
With hopeless zeal
We’re all preachers
With our mouths closed
Clothing messages
In sugar coats

Remember when we were real
Back when we could feel?
Once we were in this
Now we’re of this
Jesus, turn these tables over

I wanna hide beneath the pretty paint
I wanna be okay with everything
I wanna be transformed and stay the same
I wanna be dry in the rain

Remember when we were real
Back when we could feel?
Once we were in this
Now we’re of this
Jesus, turn these tables over

Running in this stupid circle
Running in the stupid circle
Our souvenirs won’t be worth a single thing
And Truth will never be “in”

by Cool Hand Luke

desperation

I'm Not Alright
Sanctus Real
If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of,
Then cool is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune-I only wanna be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall
Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth, I need to confess

I'm not alright
I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride, bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
and when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
only you are there to lead me on
Because honestly, I'm not that strong

I'm not alright - I'm broken inside, broken inside
and all i go through - it leads me to you, it leads me to you

(and now i'm moved) closer to you
(and now i'm moved) closer to you
(and now i'm moved) closer to you
(and now i'm moved)

I'm not alright - I'm broken inside, broken inside
I'm broken inside, broken inside
and all I go through leads me to you, leads me to you

I'm not alright - I'm not alright - I'm not alright
Thats why I need you

Captain I'm Fine And Thanks For Everything
Right Away, Great Captain
(I've added some punctuation though.)
captains glory-
the trumpets will sound.
I'm unfamiliar;
you're under the ground.
and i tried crying...
but strength was unveiled.
you left us you bastard...
you left us to sail.

and i won't, let you down.
no i won't, let you down.

and in the winters
i need you around.
i still feel sorrow
and i still write it down.
and my children there's just fine;
they'd of loved you, you know.
there fathers a captain
with a beard just like you.

and i won't, let you down
no i won't, let you down

Don't Kid Yourself, You Need a Physician
Anathalo
"In my room, in my room,
In this gospel I have made,
Salvation is a broken cistern in a handmade frame."

Some stuff from Band of Brothers...
2nd Lt. George Rice: Looks like you guys are going to be surrounded.
Richard Winters: We're paratroopers, Lieutenant, we're supposed to be surrounded.

Ronald Spiers: We're all scared. You hid in that ditch because you think there's still hope. But Blithe, the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead.

Some good quotes to think about...
All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dirty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.
T.E. Lawrence

If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

my week

woohoo
hi there

i decided to fast from the internet for the week. at least besides using it for communication and school work.
to get priorities down. and spend time with people. and focus on God.
it was a good idea.
i'll probably do it again every once in a while.
you should too.

and it was a good week. :)
filled with adventures

I've done a lot of bike riding. Just going back and forth all over the place for random stuff. One big trip into the city to the Police Department for a background check. :)
I got a TB test.
Got to hang out a few random times with Cody, Nathan, and Stephen.
Had dinner with most of the bible study guys.
Rode Marta up to visit Megan and have lunch between classes on Wednesday. :)
Learned how to make gravy.
Had a sweet time in a prayer room from 2-4 am.
Watched 6 Band of Brothers episodes with guys at the house.

And more...

And I'm not behind on homework yet. :)

book update...
Still working on Cost of Discipleship... getting there though. It was put to the side over the break to read other stuff.

I mentioned Redeeming Love. It's basically Hosea turned into a fiction book that takes place during the 1800s.
You should read it.
It was simply a neat picture of what God's persistent unconditional love looks like.

And I read Prince Caspian. Not the best of them, but it's good.

And I read Starving Jesus. By the xxxchurch guys.
Very similar to Cost of Discipleship actually. The gist of the message: if you have faith then get off your butt and act on it.

Well
I'm hungry and I've other things to do
later