this tags right along with what i was saying yesterday i suppose.
this one question has been eating at me for the last year i think...
see, so often i feel incapable of doing anything without passion.
because i have no reason to do it!
maybe that's a big exaggerated...
but how do you get yourself to do something without motivation?
that's what it boils down to.
on the other hand,
sometimes i think that passion comes after the fact.
how can you be passionate about something if you haven't tried it?
it's quite a problem
a riddle.
like a key locked in a safe.
cache 22.
faith and deeds
is what this comes down to i guess.
for it is by faith that i am saved, through grace.
and yet faith without works is dead.
peter walked on water by faith.
but if faith is by grace
we must accept grace before faith comes.
in a sense, grace is accepted before faith was there to spur on the accepting.
it's a conundrum.
really i think they come together.
in the same instance.
separate things.
but they come and exist and happen simultaneously.
but that's just theological jumble or something.
it doesn't mean much to me.
all i know
is that i wish i loved Jesus more.
but half the time i just don't really care enough to do something about it.
so do i just sit here and wait for faith? for my heart to be in it?
surely not...
so do i fight for it? try to follow, seek, obey before the faith, the passion comes?
how?!
that's the predicament i find myself in way too often...
Say the words and make them count,
Say them loud without a doubt.
Give us truth and nothing more,
Leave us wanting more and more.
Showing posts with label action. Show all posts
Showing posts with label action. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Gott tut's!
do you like the header i made?
(you can only see it in blogspot of course)
cause i think it's rather spiffy :)
anyways, down to business...
this'll be long...
so i'm back from germany now
though i think it'll take a while before i'm completely back.
there's a lot of unpacking and organizing to do still
and people to see
and people to call
and things to take care of that popped up while i was gone
and letters to write to supporters
and lots of thoughts and memories to digest
and so on...
which all has to fit inside of day to day life. :)
but for now i'm at work with not much to do...
so i'll summarize the trip for now
and hopefully get to things learned and whatnot by the end.
the plane ride there was an adventure...
(i flew to Paris and then to Hamburg)
for one, because i was alone. never traveled alone very far before. never on a plane. and never to foreign countries!
also, in Atlanta they only gave me one boarding pass and said it would work for both planes, which makes no sense... but i just accepted it.
well when i landed in Paris (disappointed that none of its famous landmarks were visible from the plane window) i had to move as fast as possible to get to my connecting flight. it felt like the Atlanta airport, but with no effective transit between concourses.
and then there was also a bit of trouble with no boarding pass of course, but it worked out.
to no surprise, when i got to hamburg i learned that my bag had been left in Paris. as fast as i had to move to get to my 2nd plane, i would have been blown away if it had made it as well. :)
and then there was a few minutes of panic as i went outside and there was nobody there to pick me up...
they were just running a bit late thankfully. :)
after a few hours in a bus...
Kiel!
Kiel has a population of about 250,000 and is on the baltic sea about 50 miles from denmark.
in the next week or so about 3.5 million people came through the city for the annual "Kieler Woche" (Kiel week)
Kieler Woche is part sailing competition and part summer festival.
we never actually got around to seeing any of the competition; it took place a few miles north, up the coast.
the first two days we pretty much spent getting to know each other, preparing for the next week, and learning.
our team was awesome!
all different ages... mostly college students and adults.
there was a church group from ohio (whose pastor was english),
a few other random folks from arizona, florida, and atlanta,
two guys from northern ireland,
a finnish couple,
a handful from brazil,
a south african,
and germans from all over their country.
about 40 in all- half americans.
i love my new friends. :)
the training was incredibly helpful...
they did a great job teaching us about german culture...
about the general view of religion, the way people would react to us, and so on.
i had thought most germans considered themselves christians (even if they weren't really)
but if that's true... then these cultural christians avoided us at all costs.
i met very few people who called themselves christians. and of those maybe just 1 or 2 weren't legit.
they're becoming less and less afraid to come outright and say what they believe- that they don't buy into Jesus- i think.
most were either atheist or... postmodern (all religions are the same)
poor germans :(
i think they're rather decieved by their culture.
because they so rarely had a thought out reason to believe what they did.
culture says there is no God- and you could they ate it up without questioning.
then there's the primary rule of german culture- beliefs/religion are a personal matter.
they don't like to talk about beliefs- it's none of your business.
and i felt like that reinforces the postmodern culture...
if they refuse to believe there is no God, this one tries to catch them saying... okay, there is a God, but getting to him is a personal thing for you to do your own way.
of the 250,000 people who live in Kiel, the christians estimate (optimistically) that perhaps around 2000 go to a church once a week where they can hear the gospel.
less than 1%.
:(
(thankfully the good churches do a good job working together i think)
the thing is, germany is a lot like the states.
except worse. (perhaps like the north...)
they're very friendly people... :)
but you can't preach to them.
it's not like most countries we've been to on mission trips, where you can gather a bunch of people around, perform a drama, and talk about God.
people won't give you the time.
and [they think] they've heard it all before.
we described it this way...
you can't be a paperboy- zooming past people, throwing the news onto their doorstep.
you have to be bridge builders, connection makers, conversation starters, listeners.
so our mission was...
first to trigger conversations. simply by being present, and sometimes putting a question out there- something to make people think and perhaps react.
we all got shirts to wear throughout the week...
they're bright blue and say "Gott tut's!" on the front and back. It's tough to translate, but it literally means "God does it!" or "God is doing it!"
it's not a typical religious phrase in german, and it doesn't really make complete sense out of context.
our team and lots of the christians in the city wore them all week, and so many conversations were started just because people wanted to know what we were there for, or what the shirt meant.
another tactic was to do nice things for people
like offer to walk umbrella-less people around when it rained. :)
and yet another was to go into the middle of the festivities with signs...
like we had one hanging from a ladder that said "how do you get to heaven?"
and another which said "i only believe what my right neighbor believes"- a number of people would all stand in a line and each hold one (basically to show how silly it is to not think for yourself)
we made all sorts of signs...
we made heads turn like crazy
and we got every sort of reaction... laughs, frowns, smiles...
and sometimes a conversation. :)
also, some of us tried out using a survey- asking a few friendly questions about the festival and finally asking what they thought about "Gott tut's!"
it was tough to get people to do it i think, but it helped to play the american card- they're a bit more open to talk about beliefs with foreigners.
anyways,
that's what we were up against.
and that's what we did.
on a typical day i got up around 9, had a shower and quick breakfast, and then walked 10-15 minutes to the church we were using as home base.
we started off each day with some songs, a devotion/teaching time, prayer, and storytelling about the day before.
after lunch we grabbed got into groups, grabbed some signs/bibles/materials, and went down to the festival.
we'd come back for dinner at 6 and then go out once more for a few hours.
then went home and spent a bit of time with my host.
it was usually midnight by the time i made it to bed each night.
we all had hosts to stay with...
i was in a little apartment with a 30something single guy, Torsten, who was pretty cool.
he was incredibly hospitable...
bought me different yummy german breads for breakfast each day, let me use his computer whenever i wanted, and other nice things. :)
one morning we got up and he took me an hour south to an old city named Lübeck. it's on an island in the middle of the river and was a major trading city back in the middle ages. there were only 4 big bridges/gates into the city, which you can still see (one had a museum in it), and beautiful old churches and buildings. on the way back we drove past the sea and he treated me to a crazy awesome fish feast. i think that one meal doubled how many different kinds of fish i've eaten before. and possibly the amount as well... it was crazy delicious. :)
other out of the ordinary things...
the soccer games. :)
germany played in the quarterfinals and semifinals of the eurocup while i was there.
goodness gosh...
they get excited about soccer. particularly when they win.
seriously
think of the biggest sporting event you've ever been to, and imagine the home team won. think of all the people outside the stadium.
imagine that most of them don't really have somewhere to be- they're not rushing to get to their car to beat the traffic. they're pretty patient and relaxed. waving flags, honking car horns, cheering...
now imagine it's like that throughout the city, not just next to the stadium.
and now imagine that the stadium is actually hundreds of miles away in another country. but even still, this city is going crazy. along with every other city in the country!
it was nuts.
there was a little sailing boat at the festival named Elida that was working with the churches. each night one of the churches' band would play on the ship.
so we joined them there on two evenings. the church group from ohio had come prepared to perform the lifehouse skit! how cool is that? :) (this should be it, if you haven't seen)
so they did they would do that along the walkway and otherwise we'd talk to people that stopped by the boat/to see the drama.
on the first sunday we were there, the "evangelic alliance" (all the legit churches) had a big service planned. it was supposed to be in a park, but the threat of rain pushed it inside. basically it was about pushing the "Gott tut's!" action among the people there. we let them know about what we're doing, and how they can join. and a few of their pastors preached and told them to help us!
it was also fun because we got to sing worship songs in german. :)
one night i and the finns went to this one guy's bible study.
more singing in german.
and he asked us to talk to the guys there about what we were doing in germany. and we shared with them our testimonies. and i got to encourage them a little bit i think, from a few thoughts and an old sermon i heard.
that was a neat time.
this brings me to another huge goal of ours-
to encourage the church in Kiel.
i had thought about this before going a little, but after being there for a few days i realized that this is the biggest reason that we were there.
and it was probably my favorite part too...
i loved spending time with them, hearing their stories, and encouraging them.
we were only there for 2 weeks.
and while we might have played a huge role in the lives of some random people,
it's the home church that will bring about change in the long term.
especially in a society where time and relationships are particularly vital for real change.
so it really was a blessing to see them encouraged by us.
for them to see people give up a lot and come from around the world to help them for 2 short weeks.
hopefully for them (just as for us back home!) evangelism will become each day more of a lifestyle than an event.
so i guess that pretty much covers what happened...
now for the things i learned...
i learned a lot about germany...
what the culture is like- particularly in the north- and how to bring the gospel to it.
that a 16 year old drinking age is the dumbest idea ever. (alcohol was quite a problem)
that it's nice to walk and bike places instead of having to drive.
that eating different kinds of bread from a real bakery is nice.
and so on.
i learned that i can have a conversation in german. :)
it takes me a bit to get warmed up i think. and at this point talking too much german wears me out.
but i know i can use it, and i don't doubt that i'm capable of getting better!
most germans can speak english...
but they're not all exactly experts at it. they're german. they speak german with each other.
a few times, in the bible study for example, i was around all german speakers. so it was nice for them that they didn't to translate for me. :)
i got pretty good at understanding... mostly need to work on speaking.
(though i think i'm bad enough at forming sentences in english :))
i believe God will send me back.
for a longer period of time.
though i'm not sure how long. or when. or where...
but i don't need to know these things yet. :)
i was pretty surprised when he answered this question very clearly in the first couple days there.
i just kept getting the feeling the whole time that i was learning and practicing. that the things we were doing were incredibly important of course...
but also that, personally, i was being prepared for something bigger.
and i learned that spiritual warfare is going on even here at home like crazy!
i feel that, on previous mission trips, satan's opposition has always been at least a little bit more evident and visible than at home.
well... i guess i expected germany to be that way too... but it wasn't.
on the contrary... it was just like home!
when my alarm went off in the mornings i wanted to keep sleeping. i would get tired in the middle of the day and feel like sleeping instead of praying. i would get impatient with people. and so on.
like i said... on the trips i've done before it was like i was ready for these, and could see them coming and happening.
but in germany it took me a while ever time to realize what was happening!
... just like home....
i guess i've decided that satan's biggest tactic here in the states (and similar places) is to make us ignorant of his existence and activity.
those are the biggest things...
if you've read this whole thing, then congratulations. :)
please ask me about it still if you see me... there's plenty of details and stories to tell!
Perhaps when you do, you could ask a more detailed question to help me out. :)
anyways
make sure you see the pictures on facebook :)
Auf Wiedersehen!
(you can only see it in blogspot of course)
cause i think it's rather spiffy :)
anyways, down to business...
this'll be long...
so i'm back from germany now
though i think it'll take a while before i'm completely back.
there's a lot of unpacking and organizing to do still
and people to see
and people to call
and things to take care of that popped up while i was gone
and letters to write to supporters
and lots of thoughts and memories to digest
and so on...
which all has to fit inside of day to day life. :)
but for now i'm at work with not much to do...
so i'll summarize the trip for now
and hopefully get to things learned and whatnot by the end.
the plane ride there was an adventure...
(i flew to Paris and then to Hamburg)
for one, because i was alone. never traveled alone very far before. never on a plane. and never to foreign countries!
also, in Atlanta they only gave me one boarding pass and said it would work for both planes, which makes no sense... but i just accepted it.
well when i landed in Paris (disappointed that none of its famous landmarks were visible from the plane window) i had to move as fast as possible to get to my connecting flight. it felt like the Atlanta airport, but with no effective transit between concourses.
and then there was also a bit of trouble with no boarding pass of course, but it worked out.
to no surprise, when i got to hamburg i learned that my bag had been left in Paris. as fast as i had to move to get to my 2nd plane, i would have been blown away if it had made it as well. :)
and then there was a few minutes of panic as i went outside and there was nobody there to pick me up...
they were just running a bit late thankfully. :)
after a few hours in a bus...
Kiel!
Kiel has a population of about 250,000 and is on the baltic sea about 50 miles from denmark.
in the next week or so about 3.5 million people came through the city for the annual "Kieler Woche" (Kiel week)
Kieler Woche is part sailing competition and part summer festival.
we never actually got around to seeing any of the competition; it took place a few miles north, up the coast.
the first two days we pretty much spent getting to know each other, preparing for the next week, and learning.
our team was awesome!
all different ages... mostly college students and adults.
there was a church group from ohio (whose pastor was english),
a few other random folks from arizona, florida, and atlanta,
two guys from northern ireland,
a finnish couple,
a handful from brazil,
a south african,
and germans from all over their country.
about 40 in all- half americans.
i love my new friends. :)
the training was incredibly helpful...
they did a great job teaching us about german culture...
about the general view of religion, the way people would react to us, and so on.
i had thought most germans considered themselves christians (even if they weren't really)
but if that's true... then these cultural christians avoided us at all costs.
i met very few people who called themselves christians. and of those maybe just 1 or 2 weren't legit.
they're becoming less and less afraid to come outright and say what they believe- that they don't buy into Jesus- i think.
most were either atheist or... postmodern (all religions are the same)
poor germans :(
i think they're rather decieved by their culture.
because they so rarely had a thought out reason to believe what they did.
culture says there is no God- and you could they ate it up without questioning.
then there's the primary rule of german culture- beliefs/religion are a personal matter.
they don't like to talk about beliefs- it's none of your business.
and i felt like that reinforces the postmodern culture...
if they refuse to believe there is no God, this one tries to catch them saying... okay, there is a God, but getting to him is a personal thing for you to do your own way.
of the 250,000 people who live in Kiel, the christians estimate (optimistically) that perhaps around 2000 go to a church once a week where they can hear the gospel.
less than 1%.
:(
(thankfully the good churches do a good job working together i think)
the thing is, germany is a lot like the states.
except worse. (perhaps like the north...)
they're very friendly people... :)
but you can't preach to them.
it's not like most countries we've been to on mission trips, where you can gather a bunch of people around, perform a drama, and talk about God.
people won't give you the time.
and [they think] they've heard it all before.
we described it this way...
you can't be a paperboy- zooming past people, throwing the news onto their doorstep.
you have to be bridge builders, connection makers, conversation starters, listeners.
so our mission was...
first to trigger conversations. simply by being present, and sometimes putting a question out there- something to make people think and perhaps react.
we all got shirts to wear throughout the week...
they're bright blue and say "Gott tut's!" on the front and back. It's tough to translate, but it literally means "God does it!" or "God is doing it!"
it's not a typical religious phrase in german, and it doesn't really make complete sense out of context.
our team and lots of the christians in the city wore them all week, and so many conversations were started just because people wanted to know what we were there for, or what the shirt meant.
another tactic was to do nice things for people
like offer to walk umbrella-less people around when it rained. :)
and yet another was to go into the middle of the festivities with signs...
like we had one hanging from a ladder that said "how do you get to heaven?"
and another which said "i only believe what my right neighbor believes"- a number of people would all stand in a line and each hold one (basically to show how silly it is to not think for yourself)
we made all sorts of signs...
we made heads turn like crazy
and we got every sort of reaction... laughs, frowns, smiles...
and sometimes a conversation. :)
also, some of us tried out using a survey- asking a few friendly questions about the festival and finally asking what they thought about "Gott tut's!"
it was tough to get people to do it i think, but it helped to play the american card- they're a bit more open to talk about beliefs with foreigners.
anyways,
that's what we were up against.
and that's what we did.
on a typical day i got up around 9, had a shower and quick breakfast, and then walked 10-15 minutes to the church we were using as home base.
we started off each day with some songs, a devotion/teaching time, prayer, and storytelling about the day before.
after lunch we grabbed got into groups, grabbed some signs/bibles/materials, and went down to the festival.
we'd come back for dinner at 6 and then go out once more for a few hours.
then went home and spent a bit of time with my host.
it was usually midnight by the time i made it to bed each night.
we all had hosts to stay with...
i was in a little apartment with a 30something single guy, Torsten, who was pretty cool.
he was incredibly hospitable...
bought me different yummy german breads for breakfast each day, let me use his computer whenever i wanted, and other nice things. :)
one morning we got up and he took me an hour south to an old city named Lübeck. it's on an island in the middle of the river and was a major trading city back in the middle ages. there were only 4 big bridges/gates into the city, which you can still see (one had a museum in it), and beautiful old churches and buildings. on the way back we drove past the sea and he treated me to a crazy awesome fish feast. i think that one meal doubled how many different kinds of fish i've eaten before. and possibly the amount as well... it was crazy delicious. :)
other out of the ordinary things...
the soccer games. :)
germany played in the quarterfinals and semifinals of the eurocup while i was there.
goodness gosh...
they get excited about soccer. particularly when they win.
seriously
think of the biggest sporting event you've ever been to, and imagine the home team won. think of all the people outside the stadium.
imagine that most of them don't really have somewhere to be- they're not rushing to get to their car to beat the traffic. they're pretty patient and relaxed. waving flags, honking car horns, cheering...
now imagine it's like that throughout the city, not just next to the stadium.
and now imagine that the stadium is actually hundreds of miles away in another country. but even still, this city is going crazy. along with every other city in the country!
it was nuts.
there was a little sailing boat at the festival named Elida that was working with the churches. each night one of the churches' band would play on the ship.
so we joined them there on two evenings. the church group from ohio had come prepared to perform the lifehouse skit! how cool is that? :) (this should be it, if you haven't seen)
so they did they would do that along the walkway and otherwise we'd talk to people that stopped by the boat/to see the drama.
on the first sunday we were there, the "evangelic alliance" (all the legit churches) had a big service planned. it was supposed to be in a park, but the threat of rain pushed it inside. basically it was about pushing the "Gott tut's!" action among the people there. we let them know about what we're doing, and how they can join. and a few of their pastors preached and told them to help us!
it was also fun because we got to sing worship songs in german. :)
one night i and the finns went to this one guy's bible study.
more singing in german.
and he asked us to talk to the guys there about what we were doing in germany. and we shared with them our testimonies. and i got to encourage them a little bit i think, from a few thoughts and an old sermon i heard.
that was a neat time.
this brings me to another huge goal of ours-
to encourage the church in Kiel.
i had thought about this before going a little, but after being there for a few days i realized that this is the biggest reason that we were there.
and it was probably my favorite part too...
i loved spending time with them, hearing their stories, and encouraging them.
we were only there for 2 weeks.
and while we might have played a huge role in the lives of some random people,
it's the home church that will bring about change in the long term.
especially in a society where time and relationships are particularly vital for real change.
so it really was a blessing to see them encouraged by us.
for them to see people give up a lot and come from around the world to help them for 2 short weeks.
hopefully for them (just as for us back home!) evangelism will become each day more of a lifestyle than an event.
so i guess that pretty much covers what happened...
now for the things i learned...
i learned a lot about germany...
what the culture is like- particularly in the north- and how to bring the gospel to it.
that a 16 year old drinking age is the dumbest idea ever. (alcohol was quite a problem)
that it's nice to walk and bike places instead of having to drive.
that eating different kinds of bread from a real bakery is nice.
and so on.
i learned that i can have a conversation in german. :)
it takes me a bit to get warmed up i think. and at this point talking too much german wears me out.
but i know i can use it, and i don't doubt that i'm capable of getting better!
most germans can speak english...
but they're not all exactly experts at it. they're german. they speak german with each other.
a few times, in the bible study for example, i was around all german speakers. so it was nice for them that they didn't to translate for me. :)
i got pretty good at understanding... mostly need to work on speaking.
(though i think i'm bad enough at forming sentences in english :))
i believe God will send me back.
for a longer period of time.
though i'm not sure how long. or when. or where...
but i don't need to know these things yet. :)
i was pretty surprised when he answered this question very clearly in the first couple days there.
i just kept getting the feeling the whole time that i was learning and practicing. that the things we were doing were incredibly important of course...
but also that, personally, i was being prepared for something bigger.
and i learned that spiritual warfare is going on even here at home like crazy!
i feel that, on previous mission trips, satan's opposition has always been at least a little bit more evident and visible than at home.
well... i guess i expected germany to be that way too... but it wasn't.
on the contrary... it was just like home!
when my alarm went off in the mornings i wanted to keep sleeping. i would get tired in the middle of the day and feel like sleeping instead of praying. i would get impatient with people. and so on.
like i said... on the trips i've done before it was like i was ready for these, and could see them coming and happening.
but in germany it took me a while ever time to realize what was happening!
... just like home....
i guess i've decided that satan's biggest tactic here in the states (and similar places) is to make us ignorant of his existence and activity.
those are the biggest things...
if you've read this whole thing, then congratulations. :)
please ask me about it still if you see me... there's plenty of details and stories to tell!
Perhaps when you do, you could ask a more detailed question to help me out. :)
anyways
make sure you see the pictures on facebook :)
Auf Wiedersehen!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
fear
been rereading The Silence of Adam.
the gist...
"He's been building that boat for seven years that I know of. The blocks rotted out and he made concrete blocks. Every time he gets it nearly finished he changes it and starts over again. I think he's nuts. Seven years on a boat."
Doc was sitting on the ground pulling off his rubber boots. "You don't understand," he said gently. "Henri loves boats but he's afraid of the ocean."
"What's he want a boat for then?" Hazel demanded.
"He likes boats," said Doc. "But suppose he finishes his boat. Once it's finished people will say, 'Why don't you put it in the water?' Then if he puts it in the water, he'll have to go out in it, and he hates the water. So you see, he never finishes the boat--so he doesn't ever have to launch it."
Cannery Row
John Steinbeck
the gist...
"He's been building that boat for seven years that I know of. The blocks rotted out and he made concrete blocks. Every time he gets it nearly finished he changes it and starts over again. I think he's nuts. Seven years on a boat."
Doc was sitting on the ground pulling off his rubber boots. "You don't understand," he said gently. "Henri loves boats but he's afraid of the ocean."
"What's he want a boat for then?" Hazel demanded.
"He likes boats," said Doc. "But suppose he finishes his boat. Once it's finished people will say, 'Why don't you put it in the water?' Then if he puts it in the water, he'll have to go out in it, and he hates the water. So you see, he never finishes the boat--so he doesn't ever have to launch it."
Cannery Row
John Steinbeck
Monday, June 2, 2008
response to failure
i've never paid much attention to the end of the Bathsheba ordeal. (2 Samuel 12)
you hear about the big time David screwed up,
and how Nathan came and pointed it out,
and perhaps how it caused a lot of problems.
but it sort of has a good ending.
certainly one to learn from.
first he confesses his sin.
brings it out. admits guilt.
this is where we have to start.
then spends time grieving the outcome.
taking it in, and asking for mercy and forgiveness.
we have to understand the weight of what we've done, i think.
and once that's over
it's over
David surprises his servants by suddenly acting normal again out of nowhere.
when God has made up his mind, when the punishment is set and when his love is poured out...
that's it.
it's finished.
time to move on.
how does he do this?
he got up from the ground.
he washed off and changed clothes.
he went to the house of the Lord (into God's presence) and worshipped.
then he went home and ate.
first he stopped asking for mercy and apologizing.
then took off his old self, got himself clean, and put on something new.
then went back to God... to worship! (that is the hardest part for me i think)
first he dealt with God.
then, he does a few more things....
like i said before,
he went home and ate.
he jumped right back into every day life.
also, it says that he comforted Bathsheba (now his wife).
his sin had seriously affected her.
he couldn't do things over. he couldn't bring back her husband or her son.
but
he could appologize and comfort her and love her.
finally, he went off to war.
remember that this is where he was supposed to be in the first place.
God had given him a mission, a purpose.
he had screwed this up before.
i think he sinned before he ever set eyes on Bathsheba! simply because he failed to make his God-given vision the highest priority.
he wasn't going to make that mistake again.
he marched back out to the battle.
and he was victorious.
you hear about the big time David screwed up,
and how Nathan came and pointed it out,
and perhaps how it caused a lot of problems.
but it sort of has a good ending.
certainly one to learn from.
first he confesses his sin.
brings it out. admits guilt.
this is where we have to start.
then spends time grieving the outcome.
taking it in, and asking for mercy and forgiveness.
we have to understand the weight of what we've done, i think.
and once that's over
it's over
David surprises his servants by suddenly acting normal again out of nowhere.
when God has made up his mind, when the punishment is set and when his love is poured out...
that's it.
it's finished.
time to move on.
how does he do this?
he got up from the ground.
he washed off and changed clothes.
he went to the house of the Lord (into God's presence) and worshipped.
then he went home and ate.
first he stopped asking for mercy and apologizing.
then took off his old self, got himself clean, and put on something new.
then went back to God... to worship! (that is the hardest part for me i think)
first he dealt with God.
then, he does a few more things....
like i said before,
he went home and ate.
he jumped right back into every day life.
also, it says that he comforted Bathsheba (now his wife).
his sin had seriously affected her.
he couldn't do things over. he couldn't bring back her husband or her son.
but
he could appologize and comfort her and love her.
finally, he went off to war.
remember that this is where he was supposed to be in the first place.
God had given him a mission, a purpose.
he had screwed this up before.
i think he sinned before he ever set eyes on Bathsheba! simply because he failed to make his God-given vision the highest priority.
he wasn't going to make that mistake again.
he marched back out to the battle.
and he was victorious.
Monday, May 19, 2008
dancing on ashes
bah
i still haven't caught up on rest.
how come i always seem to get more energy and stay up later when i plan a specific bedtime?!
i was at sharptop cove doing work crew this weekend, as you most likely know.
and it was a blast.
it was nice to be with my dear friends.
nice to encourage and laugh with and laugh at them. :)
nice to smile and laugh about memories.
and also nice to make new ones.
i think there are some great new memories to laugh and smile about now. :)
wonderful
anyways,
the main point of me writing this is to share with you something that God reminded me of on saturday...
this weekend i spent some of my free time walking around the camp with Josh and Jason, and at one point we ended up watching a young boy do the quantum leap.
i think the quantum leap is one of the coolest things they have there. :)
it's basically a quiet spot back in the woods where they've got a wooden pole sticking out of the ground. a telephone pole basically. with metal rungs on the sides spaced out about every 4 feet so that you can climb up. you try to climb to the top (where there is a little one square foot platform) and stand up. hanging from a tree a little ways out is a bell, which you try to jump off and ring.
of course you're harnessed in, so that it's safe and you don't fall to your death after ringing the bell. :) there's a trained person on the ground who has you by a rope that goes through a number of pulleys. they could probably pull most people to the top if they wanted to.
so
like i said, we got there just as a young elementary school aged boy was harnessed in. we were pretty surprised when he made it all the way to the top! the rope guy had to help him out some because he was almost too short to even reach the next rung sometimes, but he made it and was sitting down on top.
i guess he didn't realize how high he was until he got there, because he suddenly froze up. his father and everyone watching was trying to encourage him to turn to face the bell and stand up. but he was too afraid of falling.
after about 5 or 10 minutes he decided that he wanted to come down, which there's no shame in doing. especially at this kids age. a lot of kids freak out at the top, and understandably so. standing on top of a telephone pole doesn't feel like a very secure place, even if you're being held up by a rope. it's a healthy fear.
but
the way to get down
is to jump off.
to let go.
and the rope dude slowly lowers you to the ground.
this is how the quantum leap is designed to work.
little kid had a different plan though.
he didn't feel safe doing that.
part of the time he just wanted to hang tight and not move...
and he wanted to climb down.
which he could do i suppose.
but it wouldn't be easy.
it would probably hurt a little.
it would take a lot longer.
he could end up getting hurt a little, because it's hard to keep tension in the rope if the person's headed down.
and he would miss the fun of slowly swinging to the ground!
at first, everyone was encouraging him to do it the right way. the good way. the easy way.
they told him why his way wasn't good.
but he refused to listen.
he was a child.
he couldn't understand that their plan was better and safer than his in every way.
he needed to put faith in what his father was saying to him.
but he wouldn't.
they realized that he couldn't be reasoned with before long, and let him try to do things his way. i guess the most important thing was that he got down safely, and if he wouldn't do it the right way, they didn't have another option.
well
after quite some time
after a lot of effort and little improvement
after a lot of crying and fear
he eventually decided to
let go.
you should have seen the smile on his face when he 'danced upon the ashes of his burned up little plans.'
when he realized
how easy it's supposed to be.
how fun it's supposed to be.
well,
it could have been better,
but at least he realized it eventually, right? :)
made me think of how we're like this with God sometimes.
if only we'd give up our plans for his...
particularly at the times when it seems impossible to.
well
"something to think about later" i figured.
then i went and did my bible reading for the day,
which included 1 Samuel 8.
this is where the Israelites asked for a king...
now,
Samuel had acted as a leader for them. if you read the previous chapter or two, it tells about how he protected Israel and held it together, like the judges before him (he's named one in chapter 7 actually).
if you read about his miraculous birth and calling in the first few chapters of the book, you can see how the man is truly part of God's plan.
God chose Samuel to lead his people.
Like a shepherd finds a good sheep dog i guess. :)
in chapter 8 Samuel is getting old, and the Israelites want Samuel to pick a king to lead them before he's gone.
this is not purely bad in itself i think.
we read that Samuel's sons were not great people, and so it is good that the people desired to have a wise and just man of God leading them.
but
then we see that they are actually rejecting God as their king.
they think their security will come from a king.
they don't trust God for security.
they don't trust him to bring another man like Samuel (if that's what they need).
they don't trust God's plan. God's way.
God tells them their idea is bad, and gives them a pretty comprehensive list of reasons to prove it.
he encourages them to make him their king.
he gives them another chance to decide what they want...
but they still won't listen.
and he ended up giving them what they wanted!
he lets them do it their way, and even helps with it!
fools!
while God pursued the hearts of kings and did great things with those who loved him...
how much more if they had just accepted God as their king?!
but... what about me?
what about you?
for God's sake and yours,
the question
to which you ought to give serious thought :)
is this:
which plans of yours need to be burned to ashes?
i still haven't caught up on rest.
how come i always seem to get more energy and stay up later when i plan a specific bedtime?!
i was at sharptop cove doing work crew this weekend, as you most likely know.
and it was a blast.
it was nice to be with my dear friends.
nice to encourage and laugh with and laugh at them. :)
nice to smile and laugh about memories.
and also nice to make new ones.
i think there are some great new memories to laugh and smile about now. :)
wonderful
anyways,
the main point of me writing this is to share with you something that God reminded me of on saturday...
this weekend i spent some of my free time walking around the camp with Josh and Jason, and at one point we ended up watching a young boy do the quantum leap.
i think the quantum leap is one of the coolest things they have there. :)
it's basically a quiet spot back in the woods where they've got a wooden pole sticking out of the ground. a telephone pole basically. with metal rungs on the sides spaced out about every 4 feet so that you can climb up. you try to climb to the top (where there is a little one square foot platform) and stand up. hanging from a tree a little ways out is a bell, which you try to jump off and ring.
of course you're harnessed in, so that it's safe and you don't fall to your death after ringing the bell. :) there's a trained person on the ground who has you by a rope that goes through a number of pulleys. they could probably pull most people to the top if they wanted to.
so
like i said, we got there just as a young elementary school aged boy was harnessed in. we were pretty surprised when he made it all the way to the top! the rope guy had to help him out some because he was almost too short to even reach the next rung sometimes, but he made it and was sitting down on top.
i guess he didn't realize how high he was until he got there, because he suddenly froze up. his father and everyone watching was trying to encourage him to turn to face the bell and stand up. but he was too afraid of falling.
after about 5 or 10 minutes he decided that he wanted to come down, which there's no shame in doing. especially at this kids age. a lot of kids freak out at the top, and understandably so. standing on top of a telephone pole doesn't feel like a very secure place, even if you're being held up by a rope. it's a healthy fear.
but
the way to get down
is to jump off.
to let go.
and the rope dude slowly lowers you to the ground.
this is how the quantum leap is designed to work.
little kid had a different plan though.
he didn't feel safe doing that.
part of the time he just wanted to hang tight and not move...
and he wanted to climb down.
which he could do i suppose.
but it wouldn't be easy.
it would probably hurt a little.
it would take a lot longer.
he could end up getting hurt a little, because it's hard to keep tension in the rope if the person's headed down.
and he would miss the fun of slowly swinging to the ground!
at first, everyone was encouraging him to do it the right way. the good way. the easy way.
they told him why his way wasn't good.
but he refused to listen.
he was a child.
he couldn't understand that their plan was better and safer than his in every way.
he needed to put faith in what his father was saying to him.
but he wouldn't.
they realized that he couldn't be reasoned with before long, and let him try to do things his way. i guess the most important thing was that he got down safely, and if he wouldn't do it the right way, they didn't have another option.
well
after quite some time
after a lot of effort and little improvement
after a lot of crying and fear
he eventually decided to
let go.
you should have seen the smile on his face when he 'danced upon the ashes of his burned up little plans.'
when he realized
how easy it's supposed to be.
how fun it's supposed to be.
well,
it could have been better,
but at least he realized it eventually, right? :)
made me think of how we're like this with God sometimes.
if only we'd give up our plans for his...
particularly at the times when it seems impossible to.
well
"something to think about later" i figured.
then i went and did my bible reading for the day,
which included 1 Samuel 8.
this is where the Israelites asked for a king...
now,
Samuel had acted as a leader for them. if you read the previous chapter or two, it tells about how he protected Israel and held it together, like the judges before him (he's named one in chapter 7 actually).
if you read about his miraculous birth and calling in the first few chapters of the book, you can see how the man is truly part of God's plan.
God chose Samuel to lead his people.
Like a shepherd finds a good sheep dog i guess. :)
in chapter 8 Samuel is getting old, and the Israelites want Samuel to pick a king to lead them before he's gone.
this is not purely bad in itself i think.
we read that Samuel's sons were not great people, and so it is good that the people desired to have a wise and just man of God leading them.
but
then we see that they are actually rejecting God as their king.
they think their security will come from a king.
they don't trust God for security.
they don't trust him to bring another man like Samuel (if that's what they need).
they don't trust God's plan. God's way.
God tells them their idea is bad, and gives them a pretty comprehensive list of reasons to prove it.
he encourages them to make him their king.
he gives them another chance to decide what they want...
but they still won't listen.
and he ended up giving them what they wanted!
he lets them do it their way, and even helps with it!
fools!
while God pursued the hearts of kings and did great things with those who loved him...
how much more if they had just accepted God as their king?!
but... what about me?
what about you?
for God's sake and yours,
the question
to which you ought to give serious thought :)
is this:
which plans of yours need to be burned to ashes?
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
self-centeredness
so
i'm back to the working life now.
you know, it sure is easy to complain about it
just like complaining about school.
turns out complaining is just something we do or don't do.
it's not so much based on the circumstances.
you could be in one of the best situations ever sometimes and still find things to complain about because that's just what you're in the habit of doing.
i'm trying not to complain so much.
this summer, for starters.
trying not to have so many excuses.
i would come home last summer after a long day and tell myself i needed a break...
and i feel like i wasted so much time that could have been spent with my family or others.
or at least doing something meaningful or productive.
time to fix that
there's always so much to fix.
which is...
exciting :)
if only God was really always right in front of my eyes...
"I'm Not Ready" by Cool Hand Luke
Every time I read that story again
I wanna run and take the nails out
You remind me that those nails are mine
Once and for all to the end (Hebrews 9:26)
You were speaking to a group last night
You asked someone to lay their pride out
I turned to see who it could be
You were looking me dead in the eye
I’m not ready for this
I’m not ready yet
I’m not ready
For this ending
But it’s not over yet
I’ve been fighting against myself
And I’ve torn myself to pieces
I hear You calling, God, I hear You calling
“Stand up, stand up
And spend yourself for Jesus”
Too long have I been chained
I’m ready Jesus—set me free
"Things Like You" by Sanctus Real
Loving things like you has wrecked my life, made me cry
Loving things like you has made me lose my mind
And I can't figure out why I've been hanging on
To all these things I've tried to leave behind me for so long
And I think it's time to find a better way to live my life
Than loving all those things that keep me wrapped so tight
Everyone wants everyone else's everything
Some time's the more we have the less we really gain
I'm tired of life and all that money has to buy
Get out of my heart, out of my mind, leaving you behind
Loving things like you has left me bruised, black and blue
Loving things like you has made me so confused
And I can't figure out what I've been waiting on
God I can't be living for things I know are wrong
Now I think it's time to write a better chapter in my life
Leaving all those things that keep me wrapped so tight
Why are we obsessed with possessions here on earth?
Go and take a look at the flowers and the birds
God is always taking care of nature's every need
And how much more important in The Father's eyes are we?
I said, how much more important in The Father's eyes are we?
He sees everything
i'm back to the working life now.
you know, it sure is easy to complain about it
just like complaining about school.
turns out complaining is just something we do or don't do.
it's not so much based on the circumstances.
you could be in one of the best situations ever sometimes and still find things to complain about because that's just what you're in the habit of doing.
i'm trying not to complain so much.
this summer, for starters.
trying not to have so many excuses.
i would come home last summer after a long day and tell myself i needed a break...
and i feel like i wasted so much time that could have been spent with my family or others.
or at least doing something meaningful or productive.
time to fix that
there's always so much to fix.
which is...
exciting :)
if only God was really always right in front of my eyes...
"I'm Not Ready" by Cool Hand Luke
Every time I read that story again
I wanna run and take the nails out
You remind me that those nails are mine
Once and for all to the end (Hebrews 9:26)
You were speaking to a group last night
You asked someone to lay their pride out
I turned to see who it could be
You were looking me dead in the eye
I’m not ready for this
I’m not ready yet
I’m not ready
For this ending
But it’s not over yet
I’ve been fighting against myself
And I’ve torn myself to pieces
I hear You calling, God, I hear You calling
“Stand up, stand up
And spend yourself for Jesus”
Too long have I been chained
I’m ready Jesus—set me free
"Things Like You" by Sanctus Real
Loving things like you has wrecked my life, made me cry
Loving things like you has made me lose my mind
And I can't figure out why I've been hanging on
To all these things I've tried to leave behind me for so long
And I think it's time to find a better way to live my life
Than loving all those things that keep me wrapped so tight
Everyone wants everyone else's everything
Some time's the more we have the less we really gain
I'm tired of life and all that money has to buy
Get out of my heart, out of my mind, leaving you behind
Loving things like you has left me bruised, black and blue
Loving things like you has made me so confused
And I can't figure out what I've been waiting on
God I can't be living for things I know are wrong
Now I think it's time to write a better chapter in my life
Leaving all those things that keep me wrapped so tight
Why are we obsessed with possessions here on earth?
Go and take a look at the flowers and the birds
God is always taking care of nature's every need
And how much more important in The Father's eyes are we?
I said, how much more important in The Father's eyes are we?
He sees everything
Sunday, April 20, 2008
hero
i feel like i've posted the picture at the bottom before
on xanga at least
but oh well
a few things that have been on my heart lately:
vision- read Joel 2:28
prayer- read Isaiah 61 and 62 for starters
action
prayer > vision > prayer > action
might even put more prayer after action
prayer is pretty important
it's everything
we were looking at John 1...
The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, "Look, the Lamb of God!"
When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, "What do you want?"
They said, "Rabbi" (which means Teacher), "where are you staying?"
"Come," he replied, "and you will see."
So they went and saw where he was staying, and spent that day with him. It was about the tenth hour.
Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, "We have found the Messiah" (that is, the Christ).
i thought it was need that the FIRST thing Andrew did was actually to just go BE with Jesus.
that's the prayer part for us.
anyways
the hardest thing is finding the vision in the first place
the passion
the drive that praying like a madman springs from
the vision that is really quite naturally followed by action
and that is what i'm searching for.
enough passion to pay the costs that are in the way.
passion for prayer. because i realize how important and needed it is...
and passion to act.
because i want to be these people, in a way.
and i rarely feel like i am.
on xanga at least
but oh well
a few things that have been on my heart lately:
vision- read Joel 2:28
prayer- read Isaiah 61 and 62 for starters
action
prayer > vision > prayer > action
might even put more prayer after action
prayer is pretty important
it's everything
we were looking at John 1...
The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, "Look, the Lamb of God!"
When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, "What do you want?"
They said, "Rabbi" (which means Teacher), "where are you staying?"
"Come," he replied, "and you will see."
So they went and saw where he was staying, and spent that day with him. It was about the tenth hour.
Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, "We have found the Messiah" (that is, the Christ).
i thought it was need that the FIRST thing Andrew did was actually to just go BE with Jesus.
that's the prayer part for us.
anyways
the hardest thing is finding the vision in the first place
the passion
the drive that praying like a madman springs from
the vision that is really quite naturally followed by action
and that is what i'm searching for.
enough passion to pay the costs that are in the way.
passion for prayer. because i realize how important and needed it is...
and passion to act.
because i want to be these people, in a way.
and i rarely feel like i am.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
dance
expanding some thoughts from a few months ago...
so as Christians we're often quick to throw out the phrase "walk with God."
it's a cool metaphor.
walking implies you're going about it slowly. your life with him is long but steady. not a race, but a journey.
and so on
but that's just one way to look at it
i know a girl who once asked "why don't we dance with God?"
good question
what does that metaphor mean?
i'll let you think about that and figure it out for yourself.
the point of this isn't to tell you what that means exactly, or how to do it.
i will go so far as to propose that God is the lead.
and so from there... i haven't a clue what his dance with you would look like.
i simply hope to encourage you, and hopefully myself as well, to dance
one of my brother's favorite quotes:
"Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
i feel like we're always so busy trying to get on top of everything.
we want to be... ready, prepared, perfect before we start.
but things like music and dancing don't work that way.
you can't think it through all the way. can't make sense of everything.
you just have to do it. or else you'll never get around to it.
i heard this song when somebody was listening to the radio.
i think i've heard it before. i think it might be one of those songs that most people are annoyed with. but oh well :)
look at the words, cause they're excellent in my opinion. if you consider how God is involved throughout them.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder where those years have gone)
so as Christians we're often quick to throw out the phrase "walk with God."
it's a cool metaphor.
walking implies you're going about it slowly. your life with him is long but steady. not a race, but a journey.
and so on
but that's just one way to look at it
i know a girl who once asked "why don't we dance with God?"
good question
what does that metaphor mean?
i'll let you think about that and figure it out for yourself.
the point of this isn't to tell you what that means exactly, or how to do it.
i will go so far as to propose that God is the lead.
and so from there... i haven't a clue what his dance with you would look like.
i simply hope to encourage you, and hopefully myself as well, to dance
one of my brother's favorite quotes:
"Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
i feel like we're always so busy trying to get on top of everything.
we want to be... ready, prepared, perfect before we start.
but things like music and dancing don't work that way.
you can't think it through all the way. can't make sense of everything.
you just have to do it. or else you'll never get around to it.
i heard this song when somebody was listening to the radio.
i think i've heard it before. i think it might be one of those songs that most people are annoyed with. but oh well :)
look at the words, cause they're excellent in my opinion. if you consider how God is involved throughout them.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder where those years have gone)
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
the vision
never lose sight of the vision you God gave you.
Nehemiah 6:3
So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this…
The vision?
The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people.
You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.
They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn't even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is the vision ?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.
Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers
choose to loose
that they might one day win
the great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters.
Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"
And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground
And the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ?
And the generation prays
like a dying man
with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and
with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.
Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mold them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive
inside.
On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.
With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,
they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.
Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centers.
Don't you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.
Nehemiah 6:3
So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this…
The vision?
The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people.
You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.
They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn't even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is the vision ?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.
Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers
choose to loose
that they might one day win
the great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters.
Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"
And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground
And the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ?
And the generation prays
like a dying man
with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and
with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.
Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mold them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive
inside.
On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.
With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,
they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.
Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centers.
Don't you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
a healthy diet
(I wrote this a while back and have decided to share it.)
If only
we could get it in our heads...
In our hearts!
In the very core of our understanding...
That we need you.
With a need that is more vital even than food & water.
Often it seems
we are only ever thankful for such
simple
Necessities
when we realize how much they are needed.
And when they are scarce.
So it is with you.
If I need your Spirit I'll just
turn the handle
and out it pours.
Or open the door to find a shelf full of the Bread of Life.
So then why do I barely scrounge together one
decent meal each day? (if that)
The same cereal. The same sandwich.
Trading meat for snacks.
Because I'm too lazy?
Because I don't understand?
Because, ultimately, I don't think I need you.
The effects of
starvation and dehydration
are evident.
And, try as I might,
one meal won't solve the problem.
If only
we could get it in our heads...
In our hearts!
In the very core of our understanding...
That we need you.
With a need that is more vital even than food & water.
Often it seems
we are only ever thankful for such
simple
Necessities
when we realize how much they are needed.
And when they are scarce.
So it is with you.
If I need your Spirit I'll just
turn the handle
and out it pours.
Or open the door to find a shelf full of the Bread of Life.
So then why do I barely scrounge together one
decent meal each day? (if that)
The same cereal. The same sandwich.
Trading meat for snacks.
Because I'm too lazy?
Because I don't understand?
Because, ultimately, I don't think I need you.
The effects of
starvation and dehydration
are evident.
And, try as I might,
one meal won't solve the problem.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
the zombie song
We’re like zombies
Like the walking dead
With X’s (excess) in our eyes
And music in our heads
We’ve forgotten
Our first love
And made it pictures
Of crosses and doves
Remember when we were real
Back when we could feel?
Once we were in this
Now we’re of this
Jesus, turn these tables over
We all follow
But we’re standing still
Reciting dead words
With hopeless zeal
We’re all preachers
With our mouths closed
Clothing messages
In sugar coats
Remember when we were real
Back when we could feel?
Once we were in this
Now we’re of this
Jesus, turn these tables over
I wanna hide beneath the pretty paint
I wanna be okay with everything
I wanna be transformed and stay the same
I wanna be dry in the rain
Remember when we were real
Back when we could feel?
Once we were in this
Now we’re of this
Jesus, turn these tables over
Running in this stupid circle
Running in the stupid circle
Our souvenirs won’t be worth a single thing
And Truth will never be “in”
by Cool Hand Luke
Like the walking dead
With X’s (excess) in our eyes
And music in our heads
We’ve forgotten
Our first love
And made it pictures
Of crosses and doves
Remember when we were real
Back when we could feel?
Once we were in this
Now we’re of this
Jesus, turn these tables over
We all follow
But we’re standing still
Reciting dead words
With hopeless zeal
We’re all preachers
With our mouths closed
Clothing messages
In sugar coats
Remember when we were real
Back when we could feel?
Once we were in this
Now we’re of this
Jesus, turn these tables over
I wanna hide beneath the pretty paint
I wanna be okay with everything
I wanna be transformed and stay the same
I wanna be dry in the rain
Remember when we were real
Back when we could feel?
Once we were in this
Now we’re of this
Jesus, turn these tables over
Running in this stupid circle
Running in the stupid circle
Our souvenirs won’t be worth a single thing
And Truth will never be “in”
by Cool Hand Luke
Saturday, December 29, 2007
after waking
so i got Braveheart for Christmas and finally got around to watching it tonight.
and like every time i watch it
i see something new or fresh
earlier this month (while i was supposed to be studying for finals) i wrote a bit about my favorite scene
"he wakes" was the name of it i believe
...that really did mean a lot to me
the first time i noticed it was...
last november I think
maybe october
not long after Megan and i split up
i was rereading Wild at Heart around then too
see i realized the trap that i had been in
it took me a bit longer than Wallace to realize i was dreaming
caught up with wanting something that i couldn't have
we all have those things
we all dream something up
something we think will satisfy
whether we realize it or not
well God pointed it out to me.
pointed out the way i was depending
on a girl in this case.
i place this dependence in many things besides him
(for me i suppose girls are just one of the easier to do that with)
so then what?
i fought to wake up
as i was saying in that earlier post
and i've done it i'd say
so far as the girl mess is concerned
ha
and i've been so impressed with myself much of the time...
and so pleased...
that i forgot about the real fighting that needs to be done now
and like every time i watch it
i see something new or fresh
earlier this month (while i was supposed to be studying for finals) i wrote a bit about my favorite scene
"he wakes" was the name of it i believe
...that really did mean a lot to me
the first time i noticed it was...
last november I think
maybe october
not long after Megan and i split up
i was rereading Wild at Heart around then too
see i realized the trap that i had been in
it took me a bit longer than Wallace to realize i was dreaming
caught up with wanting something that i couldn't have
we all have those things
we all dream something up
something we think will satisfy
whether we realize it or not
well God pointed it out to me.
pointed out the way i was depending
on a girl in this case.
i place this dependence in many things besides him
(for me i suppose girls are just one of the easier to do that with)
so then what?
i fought to wake up
as i was saying in that earlier post
and i've done it i'd say
so far as the girl mess is concerned
ha
and i've been so impressed with myself much of the time...
and so pleased...
that i forgot about the real fighting that needs to be done now
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
people and christmas and reading
sorry i haven't written in a while dear Readers :)
i wanted to write many times during finals week so badly
but i was as studious as possible
and Christmas break, while full of "free time," has been slowly eaten away. between spending time with people, reading, and sleeping, i've had little other time
"spending time with people" is my favorite thing to do
Jon got Rock Band for Christmas. my brothers and I made a band. pretty much we're pretty big on the music scene these days. that was fun.
Reece, Nathan, and Jason came over last week. watched a sweet movie (Pan's Labyrinth) and talked a lot. and played with Nathan's iPhone. ^_^ we didn't fall asleep until like 6:30 the next morning. haven't done that in too long.
went and had coffee with Kate. just talking about all sorts of things. that's fun.
stayed up last night a little bit. had a sleepover in Jake's room. playing Oblivion.
hopefully going to Digger's tomorrow night for trivia?
and so on
it's the perfect way to spend time
Christmas
my favorite Christmas present was encouragement from God.
i was reminded how much he loves me.
he told me over and over again.
and he asked me to respond to this...
you can look on your own at what he said: John 21:15-19
And he also reminded me of these things...
2 Samuel 22, especially:
new bike
german bible
airsoft pistol
new Falling Up cd
4x4x4 rubik's cube
a cool necklace
journal
Braveheart
a book- The Cost of Discipleship
i've been reading that book already actually. i'm about halfway through. borrowed it from Sterling. but i wanted my own copy.
i'll talk about it when i'm done reading it. it's good.
i also started reading a book called unChristian. about the way our culture/generation views Christianity. very interesting.
i read Prince Caspian on the way up to north carolina. i love Narnia. :)
i also read Redeeming Love. an incredible book. more on this later too i suppose.
for now i'm busy spending time with people
and this is distracting :)
and i'm sleepy :)
i wanted to write many times during finals week so badly
but i was as studious as possible
and Christmas break, while full of "free time," has been slowly eaten away. between spending time with people, reading, and sleeping, i've had little other time
"spending time with people" is my favorite thing to do
Jon got Rock Band for Christmas. my brothers and I made a band. pretty much we're pretty big on the music scene these days. that was fun.
Reece, Nathan, and Jason came over last week. watched a sweet movie (Pan's Labyrinth) and talked a lot. and played with Nathan's iPhone. ^_^ we didn't fall asleep until like 6:30 the next morning. haven't done that in too long.
went and had coffee with Kate. just talking about all sorts of things. that's fun.
stayed up last night a little bit. had a sleepover in Jake's room. playing Oblivion.
hopefully going to Digger's tomorrow night for trivia?
and so on
it's the perfect way to spend time
Christmas
my favorite Christmas present was encouragement from God.
i was reminded how much he loves me.
he told me over and over again.
and he asked me to respond to this...
you can look on your own at what he said: John 21:15-19
And he also reminded me of these things...
2 Samuel 22, especially:
along with Judges 6:12...33 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.34 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.35 He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
"The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."other Christmas presents include...
new bike
german bible
airsoft pistol
new Falling Up cd
4x4x4 rubik's cube
a cool necklace
journal
Braveheart
a book- The Cost of Discipleship
i've been reading that book already actually. i'm about halfway through. borrowed it from Sterling. but i wanted my own copy.
i'll talk about it when i'm done reading it. it's good.
i also started reading a book called unChristian. about the way our culture/generation views Christianity. very interesting.
i read Prince Caspian on the way up to north carolina. i love Narnia. :)
i also read Redeeming Love. an incredible book. more on this later too i suppose.
for now i'm busy spending time with people
and this is distracting :)
and i'm sleepy :)
Friday, December 7, 2007
discipleship
i think the world has a serious lack of people for us to look up to and be encouraged by.
not enough real fathers (mothers) and brothers (sisters) and teachers.
the kind whose wisdom and confidence you respect and admire.
there's a beautiful story (in Wild at Heart I think. if you know tell me, i've been wondering about it) about a group of men during World War 2. paratroopers on D-day I believe. they come up to a house occupied by germans.
and they don't know what to do!
they went through basic training, they could fire their guns, they knew how to fight.
but when they were thrown into the reality of it, knowledge, and even ability, didn't help so much.
they were scared. they had never been in such a situation before.
like coming up to a math problem that... you have the ability to do. but you just don't know how to put your knowledge together to work out this particular one.
well, then another group of men come up, led by a veteran.
he asks why they aren't attacking. and then understands.
he doesn't get mad or discourage them. they've never done this before.
but it's a war. they can't be "children" forever...
he says two things
first: "watch."
he then signals for his men to surround the house.
a few grenades and gunshots later...
they have taken the house.
then he returns to the first group...
second: "you can do that. now go do it."
i love this story.
we need people in our lives to
teach us how to "take houses."
men who convince us we can do it too.
men who encourage and inspire us to go do it.
and i'll add one more...
men who enable us to teach others how.
i'm thankful that I have a few of those.
i think most people don't.
i want to be that for people. i hope God teaches me how to be a leader like that. one who is looked up to, who is an inspiration, who is a teacher.
goodness, only he can do that with me.
not enough real fathers (mothers) and brothers (sisters) and teachers.
the kind whose wisdom and confidence you respect and admire.
there's a beautiful story (in Wild at Heart I think. if you know tell me, i've been wondering about it) about a group of men during World War 2. paratroopers on D-day I believe. they come up to a house occupied by germans.
and they don't know what to do!
they went through basic training, they could fire their guns, they knew how to fight.
but when they were thrown into the reality of it, knowledge, and even ability, didn't help so much.
they were scared. they had never been in such a situation before.
like coming up to a math problem that... you have the ability to do. but you just don't know how to put your knowledge together to work out this particular one.
well, then another group of men come up, led by a veteran.
he asks why they aren't attacking. and then understands.
he doesn't get mad or discourage them. they've never done this before.
but it's a war. they can't be "children" forever...
he says two things
first: "watch."
he then signals for his men to surround the house.
a few grenades and gunshots later...
they have taken the house.
then he returns to the first group...
second: "you can do that. now go do it."
i love this story.
we need people in our lives to
teach us how to "take houses."
men who convince us we can do it too.
men who encourage and inspire us to go do it.
and i'll add one more...
men who enable us to teach others how.
i'm thankful that I have a few of those.
i think most people don't.
i want to be that for people. i hope God teaches me how to be a leader like that. one who is looked up to, who is an inspiration, who is a teacher.
goodness, only he can do that with me.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
he wakes
this is probably in my top five favorite movie moments. funny, perhaps, because most people don't seem to notice it I think. in fact, if you look on movie quote websites they never have the 4th line, which changes the whole point of this scene. it's from Braveheart.
William Wallace dreams that he sees his wife, Murron. (who is dead)
in this case it's a woman. I can identify with that sometimes.
it can be all sorts of things.
it's the peace and love and comfort that we desire in the end I suppose.
there's nothing wrong with those things.
yet she tells him to wake up.
and he does.
as we all must do.
why?
because we are called to live life. to live now.
Christ calls us to be laborers. ambassadors. heros. warriors.
these people don't lay around dreaming
they act. now.
so
despite our love of the dream
we hear the alarm clock
groan
roll out of bed
and mindlessly start living
wrong
so wrong
what is william wallace doing?!
fighting a war.
he has a mission...
and a vision,
a purpose,
a passion
and his wife?
yes, he loves her
if you recall,
it was Murron who inspired him to fight in the first place!
you see,
he doesn't choose between her and his war.
they're both part of this
just remember
that your life
your fight
your mission
should be your passion
you can have others
but let them be fuel for the race set out before you
rather than be absorbed with other desires
let them strengthen you
and then wake
perhaps that dream will be part of life one day
Wallace found love again, for example
but now...
remember
you have a mission
a vision
a passion
pursue it
run that race
fight the good fight
William Wallace dreams that he sees his wife, Murron. (who is dead)
William: I'm dreaming.do you ever find yourself in places like this? caught in a dream, not wanting wake up to the "real world."
Murron: Yes you are, and you must wake.
William: I don't want to wake. I want to stay here with you.
Murron: And I with you. But you must wake now. Wake up, William.
Wake up. William, wake up.
(He wakes)
in this case it's a woman. I can identify with that sometimes.
it can be all sorts of things.
it's the peace and love and comfort that we desire in the end I suppose.
there's nothing wrong with those things.
yet she tells him to wake up.
and he does.
as we all must do.
why?
because we are called to live life. to live now.
Christ calls us to be laborers. ambassadors. heros. warriors.
these people don't lay around dreaming
they act. now.
so
despite our love of the dream
we hear the alarm clock
groan
roll out of bed
and mindlessly start living
wrong
so wrong
what is william wallace doing?!
fighting a war.
he has a mission...
and a vision,
a purpose,
a passion
and his wife?
yes, he loves her
if you recall,
it was Murron who inspired him to fight in the first place!
you see,
he doesn't choose between her and his war.
they're both part of this
just remember
that your life
your fight
your mission
should be your passion
you can have others
but let them be fuel for the race set out before you
rather than be absorbed with other desires
let them strengthen you
and then wake
perhaps that dream will be part of life one day
Wallace found love again, for example
but now...
remember
you have a mission
a vision
a passion
pursue it
run that race
fight the good fight
Friday, November 16, 2007
flaw
i think this is more...
me trying to talk/think through this than it is me trying to explain it to you
it's fresh stuff
new ideas and thoughts
hopefully it makes a bit of sense
i learned something about myself yesterday.
perhaps i just finally got old enough to see it, i dunno.
i discovered a place that my parents made a mistake.
they never really put much responsibility on us.
never made us very disciplined.
like...
we never really had chores for example.
it's not like i was entirely spoiled or something,
i just never had much to be responsible about.
as a result i grew up with a poor... ability (?) to do things that i don't want to do.
there's more to it though...
they would give us jobs to do now and then
like bring in/out the trash or do the dishes
and we would put it off until we felt like it
often forgetting about it.
which always resulted in one of two things:
either they they handled it themselves and told me about it,
or reminded me and told me to "do it this second"
usually
it was either their threat or guilt remembered from last time that drove me to DO things.
to be responsible
to be disciplined
don't get me wrong
it wasn't exactly the threat or the guilt that got me off my butt.
but it often took those to remind me that i genuinely wanted to be a help to my parents.
i simply grew up with this... selfish, lazy immaturity
that never really learned how to
stop
and recognize that
there's something I need to get done
and if i really think about it... it is my desire to get it done
i learned to complain about it
or to downplay the importance of getting it done
or to push it off until i'm in the mood
truth is
there are things in life that we have to do
even when we're not in the mood
i also picked up the habit of not acting until after i feel bad about it
i really do care!
honest.
i'm not saying that guilt drives me
it's just that
usually something outside of myself has to remind me that i DO care
if that makes sense
anyways
i actually already realized some of this...
what i didn't see until yesterday
is that it affected my relationship with God
when trial and temptation comes...
it's hard to choose God when you're used to doing what YOU want
it's not an impossible task,
to choose God i mean
but against logic and discipline...
i disobey
because (in addition to my human nature in the first place)
i still have that heightened piece of selfish immaturity.
and of course i feel bad afterwards!
i genuinely do. just like i felt bad after ignoring and forgetting to take out the trash or mow the yard or clean my room
i regret it
but...
i'm still stuck with this... whatever
that makes the same choices next time...
i need to learn how to do his will even when i don't want to
i flop back and forth:
i fight to see God's beauty and let that determine my actions...
but i'm human
there are times i have to do his will when i don't want to
so i fail
and then i fight to be disciplined
but i fail there too
it has to become part of me
a soldier doesn't question his officer.
somewhere along the road he learned that obedience was good
and now he does it without thinking.
i never really learned that.
one thing is for sure...
only God can break it...
I am selfish.
I am wrong.
I am right,
I swear I'm right.
Swear I knew it all along...
And I am flawed!
but [we are] cleaning up so well.
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself...
*smile*
me trying to talk/think through this than it is me trying to explain it to you
it's fresh stuff
new ideas and thoughts
hopefully it makes a bit of sense
i learned something about myself yesterday.
perhaps i just finally got old enough to see it, i dunno.
i discovered a place that my parents made a mistake.
they never really put much responsibility on us.
never made us very disciplined.
like...
we never really had chores for example.
it's not like i was entirely spoiled or something,
i just never had much to be responsible about.
as a result i grew up with a poor... ability (?) to do things that i don't want to do.
there's more to it though...
they would give us jobs to do now and then
like bring in/out the trash or do the dishes
and we would put it off until we felt like it
often forgetting about it.
which always resulted in one of two things:
either they they handled it themselves and told me about it,
or reminded me and told me to "do it this second"
usually
it was either their threat or guilt remembered from last time that drove me to DO things.
to be responsible
to be disciplined
don't get me wrong
it wasn't exactly the threat or the guilt that got me off my butt.
but it often took those to remind me that i genuinely wanted to be a help to my parents.
i simply grew up with this... selfish, lazy immaturity
that never really learned how to
stop
and recognize that
there's something I need to get done
and if i really think about it... it is my desire to get it done
i learned to complain about it
or to downplay the importance of getting it done
or to push it off until i'm in the mood
truth is
there are things in life that we have to do
even when we're not in the mood
i also picked up the habit of not acting until after i feel bad about it
i really do care!
honest.
i'm not saying that guilt drives me
it's just that
usually something outside of myself has to remind me that i DO care
if that makes sense
anyways
i actually already realized some of this...
what i didn't see until yesterday
is that it affected my relationship with God
when trial and temptation comes...
it's hard to choose God when you're used to doing what YOU want
it's not an impossible task,
to choose God i mean
but against logic and discipline...
i disobey
because (in addition to my human nature in the first place)
i still have that heightened piece of selfish immaturity.
and of course i feel bad afterwards!
i genuinely do. just like i felt bad after ignoring and forgetting to take out the trash or mow the yard or clean my room
i regret it
but...
i'm still stuck with this... whatever
that makes the same choices next time...
i need to learn how to do his will even when i don't want to
i flop back and forth:
i fight to see God's beauty and let that determine my actions...
but i'm human
there are times i have to do his will when i don't want to
so i fail
and then i fight to be disciplined
but i fail there too
it has to become part of me
a soldier doesn't question his officer.
somewhere along the road he learned that obedience was good
and now he does it without thinking.
i never really learned that.
one thing is for sure...
only God can break it...
I am selfish.
I am wrong.
I am right,
I swear I'm right.
Swear I knew it all along...
And I am flawed!
but [we are] cleaning up so well.
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself...
*smile*
Sunday, November 11, 2007
it is finished
does anybody else feel worn out trying to get everything done?
if i sit down and write out a simple list of the most important things in my life
trying to do everything i feel like i need to do for those priorities in a day seems impossible!
we're never really done
and then God tells us things like...
be still
and know that I am God
he tell us to rest
slow down
he tells us sitting at his feet is better than preparing him a meal
how can he expect this?
i mean... honestly i feel like my priorities are God's heart most of the time!
i feel like God wants me to make some person a priority
i feel like he wants me to be part of this or that
how can he tell me to slow down and give it a rest if these things are his ideas!?
check this out
Jesus did the whole ministry thing for 3 years
he had just...
3 years to teach people what God's heart is
3 years to convince people of who he was
3 years to make a difference in people's lives
3 years to train a handful of disciples to the point that they were capable of changing the world
okay really now
3 years?
some of you reading this are in college or older
i know
that you realize how short 3 years is.
if you're in my class, we're a few short weeks from being halfway through that.
double the time you've been in college. that's how long Jesus had to make a complete and permanent impact on the entire world.
even if you're younger i'm sure you can understand this
3 years
is not a long time
at all.
what did he say after 3 years?
John 17:4
"I have brought you glory on earth by...
completing
the work you gave me to do"
does that even make sense?
how could he say that?
surely there's something else he could do!
there's always another person to be healed.
there's always another lesson to be taught.
but no
his work was completed
interesting
how is this?
i think it lies in our priorities
even if they're not excellent ones
we weren't created to be so task oriented
Jesus knew who he was
who he belonged to
that's the first step
to BE
then what did he do?
look at Mark 1:35-39
he sought out God
God's will
each day
and the strength to carry it out
he didn't have a list of priorities and a long to-do list of ways to meet those
it was so simple to him
and at the end of the day
he could say "everything i came to do is finished"
just think about it yourself
and seek to live in a way
that when you go to bed each night
you are at peace as you say "the work God has given me to day is complete"
if i sit down and write out a simple list of the most important things in my life
trying to do everything i feel like i need to do for those priorities in a day seems impossible!
we're never really done
and then God tells us things like...
be still
and know that I am God
he tell us to rest
slow down
he tells us sitting at his feet is better than preparing him a meal
how can he expect this?
i mean... honestly i feel like my priorities are God's heart most of the time!
i feel like God wants me to make some person a priority
i feel like he wants me to be part of this or that
how can he tell me to slow down and give it a rest if these things are his ideas!?
check this out
Jesus did the whole ministry thing for 3 years
he had just...
3 years to teach people what God's heart is
3 years to convince people of who he was
3 years to make a difference in people's lives
3 years to train a handful of disciples to the point that they were capable of changing the world
okay really now
3 years?
some of you reading this are in college or older
i know
that you realize how short 3 years is.
if you're in my class, we're a few short weeks from being halfway through that.
double the time you've been in college. that's how long Jesus had to make a complete and permanent impact on the entire world.
even if you're younger i'm sure you can understand this
3 years
is not a long time
at all.
what did he say after 3 years?
John 17:4
"I have brought you glory on earth by...
completing
the work you gave me to do"
does that even make sense?
how could he say that?
surely there's something else he could do!
there's always another person to be healed.
there's always another lesson to be taught.
but no
his work was completed
interesting
how is this?
i think it lies in our priorities
even if they're not excellent ones
we weren't created to be so task oriented
Jesus knew who he was
who he belonged to
that's the first step
to BE
then what did he do?
look at Mark 1:35-39
he sought out God
God's will
each day
and the strength to carry it out
he didn't have a list of priorities and a long to-do list of ways to meet those
it was so simple to him
and at the end of the day
he could say "everything i came to do is finished"
just think about it yourself
and seek to live in a way
that when you go to bed each night
you are at peace as you say "the work God has given me to day is complete"
Monday, February 5, 2007
precious time
don't waste one minute
when you are around people
one day they probably won't be there anymore
one day all the influence you had on them will prove itself
one day they will be too far away to hear your words
and then...
then everything hangs upon what you did
while you were still together
see this weekend i got to spend time with people back home
i was so busy!
because there was always somebody to be doing something with
certainly i had to make time to be alone
to be by myself
but this past week i realized that...
i have been friends with (and even simply known)
so many people.
what did that matter?
it's interesting to see who i've had an impact on and who i haven't
i've been thinking about how...
there were all those people
and now they're out there on their own
like i was their parent, and now they're grown up
only... not a parent
but a friend
i'm not there anymore to tell them if something's wrong.
the thing that kills me most i think
is how i'm not there to encourage them
i can go home for the weekend
and talk to people there
but now i'm back at school
clearly this is where God wants me at
and i'm okay with that
but i still love the people i've...
left behind or parted from
and i miss them
(or depending on who you are)
i miss you
i wanted to go to the student leadership meeting
to tell them the things i think should be fixed
to laugh with them
to encourage them
but it's not...
my youth group anymore
it's hard to let go of
same thing with single friends
i got to spend some time with...
my brother, for example
and i can love him
and have fun with him
and encourage him
but now...
i'm not there with him anymore
when i go to.. church for example
i feel like I'm on a mission
to find certain people that i know
and talk to them
see what's going on with them
i spent some time with one person in particular
and it was nice
i hope it helped
But...
here i am
at school
then there are my friends who have also left home
who have dispersed across the state and country
i love them
but i hardly get to see them now
ANYWAYS
what i'm getting at
is...
what did i mean to those people?
because...
now the influence i have on them is so limited
i'm not there every day, every week
and it's not that at some point i controlled their lives
like some overprotective parent
but God used me to do something in those people
did i use my time wisely?
how much more could God have done with me if i realized how precious my time with them was?
people and friends aren't just problems to solve
"things" to "work on"
don't get the wrong idea
it's just that...
i sort of realized what it's like to be... a parent
what it's like to see the people that you invested so much in...
on their own
they have to make their own mistakes
figure things out without me there
everyone is quite capable of that ^_^
i don't claim to be mr. fix-it
but i wish i could be there to help everybody along
and i can't be
time is up
Do I,
Do you
love people
like time is running out?
when you are around people
one day they probably won't be there anymore
one day all the influence you had on them will prove itself
one day they will be too far away to hear your words
and then...
then everything hangs upon what you did
while you were still together
see this weekend i got to spend time with people back home
i was so busy!
because there was always somebody to be doing something with
certainly i had to make time to be alone
to be by myself
but this past week i realized that...
i have been friends with (and even simply known)
so many people.
what did that matter?
it's interesting to see who i've had an impact on and who i haven't
i've been thinking about how...
there were all those people
and now they're out there on their own
like i was their parent, and now they're grown up
only... not a parent
but a friend
i'm not there anymore to tell them if something's wrong.
the thing that kills me most i think
is how i'm not there to encourage them
i can go home for the weekend
and talk to people there
but now i'm back at school
clearly this is where God wants me at
and i'm okay with that
but i still love the people i've...
left behind or parted from
and i miss them
(or depending on who you are)
i miss you
i wanted to go to the student leadership meeting
to tell them the things i think should be fixed
to laugh with them
to encourage them
but it's not...
my youth group anymore
it's hard to let go of
same thing with single friends
i got to spend some time with...
my brother, for example
and i can love him
and have fun with him
and encourage him
but now...
i'm not there with him anymore
when i go to.. church for example
i feel like I'm on a mission
to find certain people that i know
and talk to them
see what's going on with them
i spent some time with one person in particular
and it was nice
i hope it helped
But...
here i am
at school
then there are my friends who have also left home
who have dispersed across the state and country
i love them
but i hardly get to see them now
ANYWAYS
what i'm getting at
is...
what did i mean to those people?
because...
now the influence i have on them is so limited
i'm not there every day, every week
and it's not that at some point i controlled their lives
like some overprotective parent
but God used me to do something in those people
did i use my time wisely?
how much more could God have done with me if i realized how precious my time with them was?
people and friends aren't just problems to solve
"things" to "work on"
don't get the wrong idea
it's just that...
i sort of realized what it's like to be... a parent
what it's like to see the people that you invested so much in...
on their own
they have to make their own mistakes
figure things out without me there
everyone is quite capable of that ^_^
i don't claim to be mr. fix-it
but i wish i could be there to help everybody along
and i can't be
time is up
Do I,
Do you
love people
like time is running out?
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
he'll make the rivers and rocks sing his praise
Why does God use people?
like me?
don't you hate guilt?
it kills you
i mean, i feel bad for everything i've done wrong
but, for me i know, the devil is really good
at letting it crush me
have you ever felt bad for something you did forever ago?
yeah,
it shouldn't be that way
if you've been forgiven by the Forgiver
or even something yesterday
or this morning
or 10 minutes ago
anyways
that's not what this is about
because once you overcome that hurdle
when you know and feel forgiven...
there's yet another hurdle.
it's rather odd too
like an oxymoron
it is
that we feel too small
or awesome
or perhaps both
one now
the other in just a moment
so why does God use people?
is it because something good in us?
sometimes i really doubt that
i'm really shy
it's one of many things that makes me weak
one of the things that prevents or slows me
when God asks me to do something.
there are plenty such things wrong with me
i am humbled by it
like Paul's thorn perhaps
i realize that i'm no good at much anything sometimes
but apparently...
he uses the weak to overcome the strong?
'"But I'm so small I can barely be seen
how can this great love be inside of me?"
Look at your eyes
they're small in size
but they see enormous things'
i found something incredible in Luke the other day
John said something in chapter 3
'For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.'
I decided this means a few things
being God's children does not make you special
it comes from God.
stones?!
God can use... stones
to beat our best attempts...
ouch
so...
like i wrote on my xanga/facebook this last weekend i think
...
THAT
is why we shouldn't try to do things
God can do so much
you know...
he really doesn't even need us if that's the case
there's plenty of rocks for him to use
But wait..
he doesn't does he?
how come?
the rocks never did anything to him
and
i... can't claim that
God made us both...
when he made the rocks he said
it is good
when he made me
he said
it is very good
that's pretty cool
how odd it is
that he chooses you
above the stones
there's too parts to us
there's something inside us that God made which is good
and there's the rest.
that is the mess of our handiwork.
the sin we started,
and the failed attempts to fix it.
God made something good in us
that is why he uses us
not because of who we have made ourselves to be
but because of who we could be
of who we were made to be
you have no claim on that glory.
it was given to you
and can be given again though
so maybe the stones have not failed God
but we
are very good
if we just let us be how he made us to
well...
I don't know about you
but if God chooses me like that
I will try to love better
i will try to be the very good that I am
instead of that which i have been.
there's no way I'm gonna let a freaking rock
outlove me
Not that i'm competing with rocks to worship God ^_^
but you know what i mean
like me?
don't you hate guilt?
it kills you
i mean, i feel bad for everything i've done wrong
but, for me i know, the devil is really good
at letting it crush me
have you ever felt bad for something you did forever ago?
yeah,
it shouldn't be that way
if you've been forgiven by the Forgiver
or even something yesterday
or this morning
or 10 minutes ago
anyways
that's not what this is about
because once you overcome that hurdle
when you know and feel forgiven...
there's yet another hurdle.
it's rather odd too
like an oxymoron
it is
that we feel too small
or awesome
or perhaps both
one now
the other in just a moment
so why does God use people?
is it because something good in us?
sometimes i really doubt that
i'm really shy
it's one of many things that makes me weak
one of the things that prevents or slows me
when God asks me to do something.
there are plenty such things wrong with me
i am humbled by it
like Paul's thorn perhaps
i realize that i'm no good at much anything sometimes
but apparently...
he uses the weak to overcome the strong?
'"But I'm so small I can barely be seen
how can this great love be inside of me?"
Look at your eyes
they're small in size
but they see enormous things'
i found something incredible in Luke the other day
John said something in chapter 3
'For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.'
I decided this means a few things
being God's children does not make you special
it comes from God.
stones?!
God can use... stones
to beat our best attempts...
ouch
so...
like i wrote on my xanga/facebook this last weekend i think
...
THAT
is why we shouldn't try to do things
God can do so much
you know...
he really doesn't even need us if that's the case
there's plenty of rocks for him to use
But wait..
he doesn't does he?
how come?
the rocks never did anything to him
and
i... can't claim that
God made us both...
when he made the rocks he said
it is good
when he made me
he said
it is very good
that's pretty cool
how odd it is
that he chooses you
above the stones
there's too parts to us
there's something inside us that God made which is good
and there's the rest.
that is the mess of our handiwork.
the sin we started,
and the failed attempts to fix it.
God made something good in us
that is why he uses us
not because of who we have made ourselves to be
but because of who we could be
of who we were made to be
you have no claim on that glory.
it was given to you
and can be given again though
so maybe the stones have not failed God
but we
are very good
if we just let us be how he made us to
well...
I don't know about you
but if God chooses me like that
I will try to love better
i will try to be the very good that I am
instead of that which i have been.
there's no way I'm gonna let a freaking rock
outlove me
Not that i'm competing with rocks to worship God ^_^
but you know what i mean
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