i haven't gotten enough sleep lately.
i never feel like going to bed before midnight. i have to force myself to. even when i wake up as gosh darn early as i have to. :)
and being sleepy when you need to be working is wretched.
i was at the hove's on saturday night. played monopoly and ocarina of time.
watched the end of x-men 2 on sunday night.
and watched gladiator last night.
gladiator is a good one.
for one, it's a good ending to silence of adam.
though i guess i'm a bit funny right now, because it didn't have the emotional effect i would normally expect.
it's a movie with lots of action
but also wonderful depth and meaning.
and no sex!
not one scene
how incredible is that?!
on the topic of sex...
i've been listening to old xxxchurch podcasts the last two days while working.
they're rather entertaining.
often very interesting as well.
hmm... and a number of other good things.
i heard about this guy named...
jason harwell.
he has a song called "flowers" that's absolutely beautiful...
(xxxchurch plays the whole thing at 10:30 into podcast #63 [hahaha... of all the podcasts... if you listen to the whole thing and it's your first picture of xxxchurch prepare to be... a little weirded out? {in fact prepare to feel uncomfortable even if you do know what Craig and JR are about- for a minute or two at least}])
woohoo!
i got promoted
sort of...
i think.
my boss came and said he wanted to kick things up a bit.
most of what i do is make corrections and revisions on drawings. they give me a drawing with things that need to be changed marked in red, and i change it the way they want on the computer.
i'm not sure exactly what he's thinking... but it sounds like i'll get to do stuff that involves more thinking.
which is a good thing. :)
a good thing to do is write prayers down in journals, but instead of just using all the space for yourself... just write... a little bit. one thought, instead of a whole page long string of them. and then pause. and listen. and use a different color to write down what you think God has to say back. and have a conversation.
this has been one of those weird posts that i've been slowly adding to all day long.
the timestamp says 9 o'clock, but it's 3:30 now.
and i suppose there's not anything particularly meaningful.
but maybe you enjoyed it. :)
anyways
i need to finish drawing a concrete foundation before i leave
auf wiedersehen
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
fear
been rereading The Silence of Adam.
the gist...
"He's been building that boat for seven years that I know of. The blocks rotted out and he made concrete blocks. Every time he gets it nearly finished he changes it and starts over again. I think he's nuts. Seven years on a boat."
Doc was sitting on the ground pulling off his rubber boots. "You don't understand," he said gently. "Henri loves boats but he's afraid of the ocean."
"What's he want a boat for then?" Hazel demanded.
"He likes boats," said Doc. "But suppose he finishes his boat. Once it's finished people will say, 'Why don't you put it in the water?' Then if he puts it in the water, he'll have to go out in it, and he hates the water. So you see, he never finishes the boat--so he doesn't ever have to launch it."
Cannery Row
John Steinbeck
the gist...
"He's been building that boat for seven years that I know of. The blocks rotted out and he made concrete blocks. Every time he gets it nearly finished he changes it and starts over again. I think he's nuts. Seven years on a boat."
Doc was sitting on the ground pulling off his rubber boots. "You don't understand," he said gently. "Henri loves boats but he's afraid of the ocean."
"What's he want a boat for then?" Hazel demanded.
"He likes boats," said Doc. "But suppose he finishes his boat. Once it's finished people will say, 'Why don't you put it in the water?' Then if he puts it in the water, he'll have to go out in it, and he hates the water. So you see, he never finishes the boat--so he doesn't ever have to launch it."
Cannery Row
John Steinbeck
Thursday, June 5, 2008
a link to the office - part 3
so
i had just gone into the restroom the other day when the lights flickered and went out.
it's a good thing i had my cell phone... it was pretty dark.
turns out it wasn't just the bathroom lights.
a few of the hallway lights and desk lamps worked.
but most lights, the computers, the AC were gone. for about 10 minutes most people were just sitting around talking because there's not terribly much engineering work to be done without computers nowadays.
then the fire alarm went off. so everyone in the 9 story office had to pour outside through the stairs, which of course didn't have emergency lights in them... (none that worked at least.)
it was hot. and we didn't know if it would even be fixed. and we only had about another hour left for the day anyways. so we left and went home.
didn't come in yesterday either. turns out they didn't get the power fixed until 1 something in the afternoon.
the day off was nice. got a bunch of random stuff done that i've been pushing off. and beat x-men legends with Jake and Reece. and read part of one of my favorite books, the Silence of Adam, which i've been rereading this week. (more on that tomorrow perhaps, when i finish it)
but back now. :)
sounds ridiculous, right?
okay okay...
i'll tell you what really happened...
so i found a new guy here on the 8th level of the dungeon who gave me a special sheet of paper and told me to give it to someone else on the 7th floor. and when i did, he told me to return to the 8th floor, where i would find a switch. stepped on it [doo daa doo doo dee dee doo!] and enemies began to pour out! of course because i was unarmed all i could do was flee...
i accidentally ended up missing the correct passageway and ended up on the 6th floor. but to my good fortune, there turned out to be some sort of armory there! there were 3 different colored weapons: black, blue, and red. i could only assume black is normal (but stronger), while the other two have ice and fire properties. so i took them all [da dee daa dee daaaaaaa!].
anyways, i returned and began to fight the monsters that had appeared. at first there were literally hundreds of them! however they were quite easy to defeat. it was simply a matter of attacking them all with my... ice rod first. this froze them and enabled me to handle them one at a time. i then would slash a few times with the sword and use my fire rod to destroy each of them.
as their numbers thinned i figured it would become easier. but i soon discovered that the last of the beasts were usually much more difficult. some of them could camouflage themselves to blend into the background until i froze them. they took more strikes with the sword than the first ones and often a little bit of magic.
the battle was moving along fine, but i decided to retreat and stock up in case a mini-boss should pop up after i eliminated the monsters. i had just stumbled into a room that appeared to be a fairy fountain... but suddenly the lights in the room died. it was fortunate i had purchased a candle recently, as i needed it to navigate out of the cave. when i emerged, i decided the only thing to do was first finish defeating the monsters from before. however, the entire dungeon was darker than before and the temperature seemed to be quickly rising as well...
but before i could continue my battle, there was a sudden loud noise. the natives of this dungeon (who seem to be cousins of the gorons, judging by the way they yawn,... though with an exceptionally higher intelligence.) were all suddenly hurrying to leave. i learned that this had happened before. from the darkening of the lights, rising heat level, and loud screaming noises i can only guess that some great evil lurks inside this place (a dragon perhaps?).
but of course there is. who's ever heard of a dungeon with no boss???
but where is he? and the key to his lair?
i need to find that compass...
after exiting, i decided to leave once again to reengerize and restock. (i was particularly low on magic) and now, after hearing from the natives that the dungeon had returned to normal, i have returned...
i had just gone into the restroom the other day when the lights flickered and went out.
it's a good thing i had my cell phone... it was pretty dark.
turns out it wasn't just the bathroom lights.
a few of the hallway lights and desk lamps worked.
but most lights, the computers, the AC were gone. for about 10 minutes most people were just sitting around talking because there's not terribly much engineering work to be done without computers nowadays.
then the fire alarm went off. so everyone in the 9 story office had to pour outside through the stairs, which of course didn't have emergency lights in them... (none that worked at least.)
it was hot. and we didn't know if it would even be fixed. and we only had about another hour left for the day anyways. so we left and went home.
didn't come in yesterday either. turns out they didn't get the power fixed until 1 something in the afternoon.
the day off was nice. got a bunch of random stuff done that i've been pushing off. and beat x-men legends with Jake and Reece. and read part of one of my favorite books, the Silence of Adam, which i've been rereading this week. (more on that tomorrow perhaps, when i finish it)
but back now. :)
sounds ridiculous, right?
okay okay...
i'll tell you what really happened...
so i found a new guy here on the 8th level of the dungeon who gave me a special sheet of paper and told me to give it to someone else on the 7th floor. and when i did, he told me to return to the 8th floor, where i would find a switch. stepped on it [doo daa doo doo dee dee doo!] and enemies began to pour out! of course because i was unarmed all i could do was flee...
i accidentally ended up missing the correct passageway and ended up on the 6th floor. but to my good fortune, there turned out to be some sort of armory there! there were 3 different colored weapons: black, blue, and red. i could only assume black is normal (but stronger), while the other two have ice and fire properties. so i took them all [da dee daa dee daaaaaaa!].
anyways, i returned and began to fight the monsters that had appeared. at first there were literally hundreds of them! however they were quite easy to defeat. it was simply a matter of attacking them all with my... ice rod first. this froze them and enabled me to handle them one at a time. i then would slash a few times with the sword and use my fire rod to destroy each of them.
as their numbers thinned i figured it would become easier. but i soon discovered that the last of the beasts were usually much more difficult. some of them could camouflage themselves to blend into the background until i froze them. they took more strikes with the sword than the first ones and often a little bit of magic.
the battle was moving along fine, but i decided to retreat and stock up in case a mini-boss should pop up after i eliminated the monsters. i had just stumbled into a room that appeared to be a fairy fountain... but suddenly the lights in the room died. it was fortunate i had purchased a candle recently, as i needed it to navigate out of the cave. when i emerged, i decided the only thing to do was first finish defeating the monsters from before. however, the entire dungeon was darker than before and the temperature seemed to be quickly rising as well...
but before i could continue my battle, there was a sudden loud noise. the natives of this dungeon (who seem to be cousins of the gorons, judging by the way they yawn,... though with an exceptionally higher intelligence.) were all suddenly hurrying to leave. i learned that this had happened before. from the darkening of the lights, rising heat level, and loud screaming noises i can only guess that some great evil lurks inside this place (a dragon perhaps?).
but of course there is. who's ever heard of a dungeon with no boss???
but where is he? and the key to his lair?
i need to find that compass...
after exiting, i decided to leave once again to reengerize and restock. (i was particularly low on magic) and now, after hearing from the natives that the dungeon had returned to normal, i have returned...
Monday, June 2, 2008
response to failure
i've never paid much attention to the end of the Bathsheba ordeal. (2 Samuel 12)
you hear about the big time David screwed up,
and how Nathan came and pointed it out,
and perhaps how it caused a lot of problems.
but it sort of has a good ending.
certainly one to learn from.
first he confesses his sin.
brings it out. admits guilt.
this is where we have to start.
then spends time grieving the outcome.
taking it in, and asking for mercy and forgiveness.
we have to understand the weight of what we've done, i think.
and once that's over
it's over
David surprises his servants by suddenly acting normal again out of nowhere.
when God has made up his mind, when the punishment is set and when his love is poured out...
that's it.
it's finished.
time to move on.
how does he do this?
he got up from the ground.
he washed off and changed clothes.
he went to the house of the Lord (into God's presence) and worshipped.
then he went home and ate.
first he stopped asking for mercy and apologizing.
then took off his old self, got himself clean, and put on something new.
then went back to God... to worship! (that is the hardest part for me i think)
first he dealt with God.
then, he does a few more things....
like i said before,
he went home and ate.
he jumped right back into every day life.
also, it says that he comforted Bathsheba (now his wife).
his sin had seriously affected her.
he couldn't do things over. he couldn't bring back her husband or her son.
but
he could appologize and comfort her and love her.
finally, he went off to war.
remember that this is where he was supposed to be in the first place.
God had given him a mission, a purpose.
he had screwed this up before.
i think he sinned before he ever set eyes on Bathsheba! simply because he failed to make his God-given vision the highest priority.
he wasn't going to make that mistake again.
he marched back out to the battle.
and he was victorious.
you hear about the big time David screwed up,
and how Nathan came and pointed it out,
and perhaps how it caused a lot of problems.
but it sort of has a good ending.
certainly one to learn from.
first he confesses his sin.
brings it out. admits guilt.
this is where we have to start.
then spends time grieving the outcome.
taking it in, and asking for mercy and forgiveness.
we have to understand the weight of what we've done, i think.
and once that's over
it's over
David surprises his servants by suddenly acting normal again out of nowhere.
when God has made up his mind, when the punishment is set and when his love is poured out...
that's it.
it's finished.
time to move on.
how does he do this?
he got up from the ground.
he washed off and changed clothes.
he went to the house of the Lord (into God's presence) and worshipped.
then he went home and ate.
first he stopped asking for mercy and apologizing.
then took off his old self, got himself clean, and put on something new.
then went back to God... to worship! (that is the hardest part for me i think)
first he dealt with God.
then, he does a few more things....
like i said before,
he went home and ate.
he jumped right back into every day life.
also, it says that he comforted Bathsheba (now his wife).
his sin had seriously affected her.
he couldn't do things over. he couldn't bring back her husband or her son.
but
he could appologize and comfort her and love her.
finally, he went off to war.
remember that this is where he was supposed to be in the first place.
God had given him a mission, a purpose.
he had screwed this up before.
i think he sinned before he ever set eyes on Bathsheba! simply because he failed to make his God-given vision the highest priority.
he wasn't going to make that mistake again.
he marched back out to the battle.
and he was victorious.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
proverbs 30:4
last weekend our family went to florida.
we spent a day at universal studios and two days at the main disney parks.
on the last day before coming home we dropped by downtown disney for a bit and made a side trip to st. augustine.
when we first got to the beach i read one of my bible passages for the day.
i realized i was reading through it without really taking in what it was saying, so i had to go back and start over.
i was reminded how slow and feebleminded i can be. :)
sometimes it takes a minute to realize you're being spoken to.
we spent a day at universal studios and two days at the main disney parks.
on the last day before coming home we dropped by downtown disney for a bit and made a side trip to st. augustine.
when we first got to the beach i read one of my bible passages for the day.
i realized i was reading through it without really taking in what it was saying, so i had to go back and start over.
i was reminded how slow and feebleminded i can be. :)
sometimes it takes a minute to realize you're being spoken to.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
a link to the office - part 2
i am now back from my sidequest to florida...
(i'll say more about that in the next day or two i think)
and have once again returned to conquer this dungeon.
i was able to purchase a sword in florida,
but the evil magic of this place prevents me from equipping it here.
i spend most of my time on the 8th floor.
it's accessible, unlike the others.
however the only door that gets you anywhere of importance has a special lock.
5 switches must be pressed in the proper order to open it.
thankfully i learned the correct sequence from a man on the 7th floor of the dungeon.
i finally obtained a dungeon map.
however there's no sign of a compass. or a boss key. and the symmetry of this dungeon makes it difficult to even guess where the boss may be.
i'll have to keep exploring.
though i believe i'll have to briefly return to the overworld before long to restock on potions and the like.
i played my windows media player today and found that a number of songs seem to speed up time.
i wish one would teleport me to other floors... it gets rather tedious walking back and forth.
i did hear from an old man today, that a new room will be opened tomorrow, providing that i collect a number of "drawings."
but it's rather complicated. a number of switches on the 8th floor have to be pressed for them to appear on the 7th (and a few on the 6th i suspect), and then of course i have to find, obtain, and bring them back here.
oh
and i think i will be able to obtain a ton of rupees tomorrow!
that will be helpful
at least there is still no sign of monsters...
(though the guy who looks like he came straight out of the 70s is a little suspicious...)
:)
(i'll say more about that in the next day or two i think)
and have once again returned to conquer this dungeon.
i was able to purchase a sword in florida,
but the evil magic of this place prevents me from equipping it here.
i spend most of my time on the 8th floor.
it's accessible, unlike the others.
however the only door that gets you anywhere of importance has a special lock.
5 switches must be pressed in the proper order to open it.
thankfully i learned the correct sequence from a man on the 7th floor of the dungeon.
i finally obtained a dungeon map.
however there's no sign of a compass. or a boss key. and the symmetry of this dungeon makes it difficult to even guess where the boss may be.
i'll have to keep exploring.
though i believe i'll have to briefly return to the overworld before long to restock on potions and the like.
i played my windows media player today and found that a number of songs seem to speed up time.
i wish one would teleport me to other floors... it gets rather tedious walking back and forth.
i did hear from an old man today, that a new room will be opened tomorrow, providing that i collect a number of "drawings."
but it's rather complicated. a number of switches on the 8th floor have to be pressed for them to appear on the 7th (and a few on the 6th i suspect), and then of course i have to find, obtain, and bring them back here.
oh
and i think i will be able to obtain a ton of rupees tomorrow!
that will be helpful
at least there is still no sign of monsters...
(though the guy who looks like he came straight out of the 70s is a little suspicious...)
:)
Friday, May 23, 2008
a link to the office
to get on some floors of our office you need a badge to unlock the door
the lock next to the door has a little red light on it, and when you hold up your badge it turns green and unlocks.
then about 10 seconds later it turns red again and makes a loud locking noise.
it reminds me very much of zelda, when you step on a switch and get through the door before it locks back. too bad there's no ticking noise.
to make it better, when i go through this particular door, i'm generally headed for the plotter room. to pick up a drawing.
which can look very much like a map.
too bad i don't have a sword
and there's no moblins.
then again... maybe that's my fault
because i haven't found it yet...
and i bet when i do, enemies will suddenly appear on all sides.
maybe i need to start kicking these filing cabinets open...
the lock next to the door has a little red light on it, and when you hold up your badge it turns green and unlocks.
then about 10 seconds later it turns red again and makes a loud locking noise.
it reminds me very much of zelda, when you step on a switch and get through the door before it locks back. too bad there's no ticking noise.
to make it better, when i go through this particular door, i'm generally headed for the plotter room. to pick up a drawing.
which can look very much like a map.
too bad i don't have a sword
and there's no moblins.
then again... maybe that's my fault
because i haven't found it yet...
and i bet when i do, enemies will suddenly appear on all sides.
maybe i need to start kicking these filing cabinets open...
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